Just How Dangerous Would a Plopup Be?

Question

Okay, I've been making quite a few Plop questions, and this one is a real heavy hitter. (You can see one, two, and three for more on Plop.)

You see, every so often Plops form hidden hordes (like rats can and do in cities) and find themselves congregating. Some gene activates that makes Plop branch off into groups of 7 and eat each other, therefore fusing into a Plopup. This strange phenomenon creates one Plopup for every 2,800,000 Plop.

The Plop's magic, their very being, combines into one deadly, terrifying monster: the Plopup. My question is Would a Plopup Really Be That Dangerous To Medieval Europeans?

Specifications (Plopup facts):

1. By dangerous to medieval Europeans, I mean to an entire city of said Europeans, or perhaps a small army of them. Plopup can breed by division (making two smaller Plopup) or sexually. As for habitat, they live alongside humans, hiding in walls, abandoned buildings, dark alleyways, and so forth.
2. Plopup are monsters born when seven Plop fuse, and therefore are seven times smarter, faster, tougher, and stronger than a regular Plop. They are theoretically capable of resisting and overcoming their instincts like people but have not been observed doing so. Regular Plop are as smart as octopi and can catch up to a speedwalking human being (you can see the comments on three above for more on how dangerous Plop can be). They are about as large as the typical dwarf (usually; the magic prefers making baseball-size Plop fuse to make Plopup) but can expand like a regular Plop does by eating large meals. A Plopup can only be as large as seven minivans combined, and they live up to seventy years.
3. The intermingled life forces of the seven Plop grants Plopup incredible regenerative abilities: if you manage to cut through it, it'll mend itself almost immediately, it'll be sort of like cutting water. This necessitates specially enchanted weaponry to kill one.
4. Plopup can shapeshift, to a certain degree: their bodies will remain smooth, rubbery, and blobby but can mimic the forms of creatures they've observed: sumo wrestlers, knights, dogs, rats, cockroaches, perhaps even moths. These new forms are recognizable but clearly not a natural member of the species (think "hey, that sorta looks like a moth" or "that's not a dog, that's a slime mimicking the shape and behavior of a dog"). Plopup are pretty good "actors" and can even parrot (read: use) human speech or even writing to communicate. Usually, though, Plopup prefer to just be a large blob.

Clarification On Plopup Strength, Speed, Durability, and Attacks:

A. Plopup have strength akin to a gorilla, or perhaps a Giant Pacific Octopus. If one grabs you, chances are you won't be getting away. They can also tank the impact of a car falling onto or crashing into them, and while rockslides would seem like a good idea, they can slip out from underneath rocks before they get squooshed. And all of this despite their weight; a regular Plopup is the size of the dwarf but weighs the same as an equivalent sized mass of rubber.

Their attacks are simple; gulping, biting, body-slamming, ramming, whacking and/or grabbing with a pseudopod or their long, elastic tongue, slashing/stabbing (they can form claws), and of course the feared (figurative) tongue-lashing. Plopup are infamous for their verbal attacks.

Plopup Weaknesses:

1. Plopups are (somewhat) vulnerable to extreme temperatures, being essentially mutant slugs clad in slimy, tough rubber. They can be frozen and then shattered, but then the pieces can thaw and become new, smaller, Plopup. If someone were to throw a lamp onto them, apply a torch, or set them alight, they'd become vulcanized. However, molten metal (or rock) can and will burn them, and that kind of damage leaves scars on a Plopup (is not regenerated so much as dealt with). Additionally, Plopup generally avoid alcohol because it makes them act like idiots.

The trouble is, Mages who can really utilize these weaknesses are kind of rare, and Plopup are smart enough to look out for (and avoid) those who can actually hurt them. Oh, wait, they have one more weakness. Like most movie monsters, Plopup have a thing for hunting, attacking, and eating hot women, preferably when they're showing some skin (clothes detract from the flavor and texture, so there's actually a legitimate reason for that last part).

Plopup are also sadistic and vindictive; they prefer to stalk and toy with there prey (That being said, they are not averse to eating random people here and there, the people they stalk are like a very anticipated snack to them). If they are hurt, they will not be able to think properly, like most angry people; they also hold grudges and seek revenge even if it's not the smartest option. In other words, hurt a Plop and it'll try to take you down, even if it dies in the process. And, if you're a Plop's target (prey), they most prefer to eat people after your hope is so gone you'll go into its mouth and down its throat just to get it over with.

Yes, this is ridiculous. Yes, there is a significant risk of the victim seeking help and therefore revealing the Plopup, or running away, or setting a trap for the Plopup (like pretending to cooperate but trying to enlist adventurers to kill the Plopup for you). But this is what they do, and this is why people suspect a misogynistic mad mage is behind the Plopup phenomenon.

As always, I appreciate your input and feedback, so if you decide to VTC or downvote, please let me know why so I can improve both this question and future posts.

Answer 1

Easy Countermeasures.

On first glance these guys sound super dangerous to a city. They are immune to most mundane attacks, can easily engulf and kill a lone person, and then immediately vanish into the sewer system. So it can go on a killing spree and be impossible to track. You cannot use an army to follow something that travels through pipes and can appear in any home in the city.

Moreover, if the monster can digest the victim and double in size, and split to make two creatures, it can easily spiral out of control and kill an entire city.

Then you lose me at:

it'll not show up to eat you until you've been brought to the point that you'll put on a bikini, season and marinade yourself, and not only get in its mouth and lay down on its tongue but follow up by wriggling down its throat.

Do you mean they only attack scantily-clad women covered in beef drippings? In that case they are no danger at all, since the bikini did not exist in the medieval period. Even if it did, there is an easy countermeasure (don't strip off and coat yourself in marinade).

Added Later: I suppose in the modern era -- in line with horror movies -- people are still vulnerable when in the shower nude and covered in fragrant shampoo (marinade). But, as we all know, medieval people didn't bathe and were covered in sh*t all the time so that's no danger here.

Uhm. . . Is this how they work?

Perhaps you mean the creatures will attack anyone, and only do the weird horror-movie stalker move AFTER you have hurt them? In that case you can make these guys as dangerous as you like by moderating their weakness to heat. For example will one flee if I stab it with a fire iron?

In that case there is an effective weapon in every house. Once any of it's victims lands a clean hit, the creature becomes easy to track and predict. So contact the local mage, and set a trap. This is very efficient, you only need one mage per city, as there is no work finding the creatures, once you have the appropriate bait, a scantily-clad hero(ine).

There is also the issue of what should be the trap to permanently kill these things. I suggest:

(1) Fire and lots of it. Either a 7th level Burning hands spell or:

(1.5) Dig a pit trap and cover the bottom in oil. Once the creature falls, light it up. The sides are too oily to escape before it burns

(2) Pit trap full of regular Plops. They can dissolve ANYTHING right?

Answer 2

Jump in a hole. I mean, whack the Plopup first, then jump in a hole. Oh, yeah, and make sure your friend is manning the suicide net you installed in the hole and can fetch it and you out a hatch in the side of it immediately. (You did remember to install the net, right? This scheme will work without it but in that case it would be better to get somebody else to do it!)

So what does the Plopup do? Well, it chases you into the hole, right? Nothing can kill it, so what does it have to fear? Apart from you slotting a jumbo manhole cover into place just under where you were rescued from the side shaft, that is. And filling the whole thing up with (Ye Olde Waterproof Roman Style) concrete and (Ye Olde Broken Sword Brand) rebar, tamping it over, putting some plastic (erm, leather used to smother a Plop?) sheathing over it and paving that over.