How would interspecies lovers with alien body plans safely engage in physical intimacy?

Question

Now I had previously asked how a loving interspecies couple would work around very Alien Body Plans that is now sadly closed (How will interspecies lovers overcome different body plans?)

That question was my attempt to dip my toe in the water, to see weather or not the idea had any merit. This is the question a lot of people thought I was asking.

Now to explore this lets bring back the example couple.

Let’s call them Ms. Smith and Mr. Xurkesh.

Now as you might have guessed they have been carrying on quite the courtship, she regales him with tales of her journey through the cosmos as an explorer, he recites romantic poetry in his native language (which sounds like an odd mixture between whale song and a broken garbage disposal) and they regularly watch the latest stream movie from Earth on the couch. All in all, typical couple stuff.

One day after little too much to drink, they begin talking about...let’s call it the Next Step. Both are intrigued, both wonder could they even go to the Next Step? They decide to table it and go about their work the next day but they carve out time to seek out friends to ask for advice on the topic.

Now for Mr. Xurkesh, he is noticeably bigger and sharper, with limbs and teeth designed to rip prey apart. Good when your eating tough armored megafauna, not so good for those tender moments. Naturally he doesn’t want a Woman of Kleenex situation, mostly because he doesn’t want to hurt the woman that he has fallen for, even by accident.

As for Ms. Smith, her job may be to explore the galaxy, but she is not a Captain Kirk with a girl, boy, hermaphrodite, indeterminate, and undecided in every star port from here to Andromeda. Xurkesh was her first interspecies partner and just finding a way to safely kiss him was a challenge, and not because he kept checking her over for any accidental wounds.

So naturally they both talk to their friends, some of which are also in loving interspecies couples, others may have dabbled with it in college, but the point is Smith and Xurkesh are looking for advice on how to proceed to the next step both safely and to make it something special for their better half.

So now I ask you a question on their behalf which is: How would a loving interspecies couple with vastly different body plans safely engage in physical intimacy?

Answer 1

Well, with technology and a bit of creativity of course!

There are several options, all depending on how transhumanist (or transalienist!) the couple is willing to go. Here's a list of potential workarounds/ways the young couple can get it on, ordered from low to high investment:

• No touching: there's plenty of two-partner erotic activities that people can partake in that don't involve physical contact. Maybe they can watch x-rated movies, listen to erotic audio recordings, or just watch each other as they participate in their species' brand of self-pleasure. Maybe they can play sexual games, like truth or dare with each other (eg "in lurid detail, describe one of your sexual fantasies" or "I dare you to undress in view of the window" both of which wouldn't require physical contact)

• Drugs/restraints: Since Xurkesh has a lot of hard edges, bulky muscles, and can easily crush his partner, one solution would be to inhibit his movement. Maybe there's a drink similar to alcohol that makes him--while not lethargic--weaker in his movement so that in the throes of passion, he doesn't accidentally crush his partner. Alternatively the couple can try bondage, restricting Mr. Xurkesh's movements so he can't hurt his partner.

• VR Sex: While VR sex is currently in its technological infancy, it does already exist. It's only reasonable to assume that this technology will be far more advanced in the future. If "full dive" VR is possible--that is fully immersive and nigh-indistinguishable from reality that works via brain-interface--the couple could just have sex in VR. There, the woman could, for example, wear a human avatar version of herself that's just as strong as her partner and also has her "equipment" modified to be compatible with her partner's avatar's sexual organs. If they want to spice it up, she could even adopt an alien avatar or he could adopt a human one--the choices are virtually limitless. Even if "full dive" VR somehow does not exist, traditional VR in a rig with appropriate animatronic sex toys could also work.

• Human plus: If the couple deems their relationship has reached a serious level, they might invest in themselves to become more compatible with their partners through self-alteration. For example, the woman might get gene-mods that make her muscles stronger and skin denser so it cant causally get pierced by Mr. Xurkesh's spikes and he might undergo a procedure that makes it so his saliva isn't toxic to Ms. Smith biology. Going further, maybe Ms. Smith installs synthetic pheromone glands so that she can communicate her emotions better and more naturally to her partner or Mr. Xurkesh might have auxiliary vocal chords installed so that he can speak at human frequencies.

• Human ultimate: Who needs pesky skin, bones, grey matter, and all those "human-y" bits anyways? Ms. Smith sure doesn't! Taking the next logical step for any space-borne adventurer who wants to live forever, she decides to become an infomorph, uploading her brain into a computer (slowly or all at once, her pick). Now, as software, she has all sorts of exciting possibilities available to her. For example, she could simply remotely pilot ("posses") a humanoid android that's tailored to look like her yet is engineered to be sexually compatible with her partner's species. Alternatively, she could inhabit a bio-printed female version of Mr. Xurkesh's species. Going even further, if her partner has a mental interface, she could live entirely digitally, projecting an avatar of herself directly into Mr. Xurkesh's vision and sending the appropriately simulated tactile signals directly to his brain when her avatar touches him.

Answer 2

With clear communication and active consent.

I'm going to assume discussion and light contact (eg hugs) just works between species. It sounds like your asking more about the sexual side of intimacy than the cuddles on the couch.

This is going to vary considerably depending on the two races I could make guesses based on the picture and write some inter species smut (limb A goes into receptical B, etc) - but in the end it comes down to a discussion between the parties like so:

"I've enjoyed our time together and I'd like to do more with you"

"Me too. But I'm not really sure what to do. I'm a bit out of my depth and unsure but excited to try, so tell me what should I do"

"Ok manoeuvre this thing in this pattern. Yup like that. That feels really good. What would you like me to do to you?"

Etc...

Calm exchange between two biological machines tricking the other into releasing happy hormones. My suggestion is write it like 2 teenage humans who dont understand each others bodies but are following all the best practices of informend consent... it's basically the same story just the parts dont interlock as neatly.

Answer 3

prosthetics AKA sex toys

This very funny short story by Naomi Kritzer narrates how a human/alien couple's special request to a sex-toy business leads to a whole line of artificial private parts -- measurements, variations, product-testing -- and their increasing popularity as we find inter-species love isn't so rare, just mostly hidden.

(Disclaimer: no, I did not search for "alien sex toys" -- I read that story several years ago. All of her stuff is that good. Actually, I did search "short story alien sex toys", but only to find that story on-line).

Answer 4

How would a loving interspecies couple with vastly different body plans safely engage in physical intimacy?

Physical intimacy extends way past the mere act of intercourse or physical penetration. Even for the human with human couple, there are cases where one or both members of the couple has had their genitalia altered or removed out of medical concerns (think of a cancer that requires removing or altering part or the entirety of the genitalia). It doesn't mean that physical intimacy cannot happen, but just that it needs to be adapted to:

• provide gratification to the giver and the receiver
• be compatible with the physical capabilities of both the giver and the receiver

Again, as I hinted in my answer to your other question, communication between the partners is key. If A finds pleasurable to be scratched behind the hear and B can do that without being hurt or hurting, that is a valid way of expressing and living physical intimacy. There is no "one size fits all" answer for this just considering the body plan. It really depends on the individuals involved.

Answer 5

I would propose as an addon to the already excellent answers present here the following:

You need to know first and foremost how members of your alien species would engage in their own equivalent of intercourse. If they function differently (think egg laying frogs, where there isn't quite any intercourse happening) then they might not have the same kind of expectations from any kind of intimate exchange.

Your description of a, to simplify, dangerous to touch male, makes me think that their females have strategies to overcome being shredded themselves. Which Ms. Smith could emulate with help from Mr. Xurkesh through communication, watching educational movies and so on, as already said in other answers.

Answer 6

I will write about the safety, how they would come to the point to speak and find a consent about it, is another point. I think we agree, that language and sharing thoughts is not the problem in different body shapes, but touching could be.

Option 1: make Mr Xurkesh less dangerous

Depending on the dangers that Mr Xurkesh offers,for example stuff the spikes with cork, place protective shields over the sharp parts, and never let him position above the Ms.

Maybe Ms. Smith has some dangers to offer too? Maybe her saliva causes skin rash in Mr Xurkesh?

Option 2: use/invent tools to help

The arms of Ms Smith are too short to reach a part of Mr Xurkesh safe? Use a telescopic tool to reach it.

The claws of MR Xurkesh are too sharp or too big to touch parts of Ms Smith? Use some small/soft tool with a handle, that gives MR Xurkesh enough control over it.

In conclusion you need to have an image (even in your mind) how romantic physical contact would be between intra-species-couples, and then try to find solutions how the "other" species could cause the same "happy feelings".

Depending of the characters (which I assume as open minded, because they came in close contact with other species) they may need planning for the solution, or may use improvisation to overcome appearing boundaries.

Answer 7

Maybe you don't need to be so gentle?

A lot of the anserws focus on how to practice sex while avoiding harm entirely. There are pretty good answers but I feel there's a angle that hasn't been explored. Sometimes pain, and small, controlled ammounts of bodly harm can be a positive part of the sexual encounter.

Perhaps, to an extent, the pushing round, beating, piercing of the skin is acceptable and even desirable. For someone into needle play, the spikes may be a bonus! Of course, spike size may be a deal breaker in this area but then again, advanced numbing agents and the futuristic advancements in tissue repair could give you some leeway there.

Of course this needs to be done safely, o Mr. Xurkesh may neeed to practice some alien yoga to be in very good control of his movements during the act.

Something to add, you may be wondering why would your captain have those strange kinks. It sounds too convenient. Well, sure, but then again it might have played a role in the choice of the alien partner, so not as much of a coincidence there. That's not to say she only cares about him physically, but it could be what first intrigued her about him.