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Alice the mermaid and Bob the human have been dating each other for quite some time, and being young adults filled with love and copious amounts of hormones the two of them want to take their relationship to the next level by engaging in intercourse. However, there's a big problem in the young lovebird's way: how can the two of them find a position to mate in that is comfortable enough for both parties to enjoy the act?

The mermaid may not be comfortable laying on her back on land (especially if she has some sort of dorsal fin) but might be little more than dead weight if she were on top, whereas the human is likely to drown if they tried mating in the water. The mermaid may be more comfortable swimming, but it would be hard for the human to focus on mating and enjoying the experience while treading water. Mating in a standing position without any support is also uncomfortable for most humans and many men report it difficult to maintain an erection or complete the act of sex in such a position (there are clinical notices about this on public health sites but I'm not linking them to keep this as SFW as possible), possibly because of muscular tension in the pelvis and legs while standing or differences in blood pressure when standing. Mating in the surf zone would likely be annoying because they would be constantly bombarded by surf and the mermaid might end up with sand in her gills.

Other parameters to the question:

  • The typical mermaid problem isn't an issue here. Mermaids have male and female reproductive organs similar to dolphins (and similar attitudes on how to use them)
  • The mermaid can breathe air and can survive out of water for a decent amount of time, but also has gills allowing her to breathe water
  • The mermaid cannot transform her tail into a pair of human legs and walk on land that way
  • The mermaid may or may not have a dorsal fin. It might end up being absent if its too much of a hassle for the story, but most marine animals do tend to have one
  • The goal of the activity is for it to be mutually pleasurable for both participants. Non-penetrative or otherwise alternative methods of intercourse like oral sex would be much easier to achieve, but these two want to take it all the way.
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    $\begingroup$ I'm not sure if Worldbuilding should take the place of a Kamasutra SE $\endgroup$ – nullpointer Feb 18 at 6:33
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    $\begingroup$ I’m voting to close this question because questions about sex positions, even fantastic ones, seems to be above the nominal PG13 rating of a stack exchange site. $\endgroup$ – sphennings Feb 18 at 8:47
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    $\begingroup$ I’m voting to close this question because - while clearly posted in good faith - I worry this skirts too close to the AUP: stackoverflow.com/legal/acceptable-use-policy $\endgroup$ – Ton Day Feb 18 at 11:23
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    $\begingroup$ @Friendlysociopath I did check the sex tag before posting this. A lot of the questions there were a lot more explicit than this one. $\endgroup$ – user2352714 Feb 18 at 15:01
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    $\begingroup$ This question seems to have been closed because it is sex-related, which seems like a poor reason to do so. I've nominated it for reopening, FWIW. $\endgroup$ – Starfish Prime Feb 18 at 19:28
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There isn't a problem

All they have to do is find a suitable shelf in warm shallow waters. The human can stand with their head out of water. The mermaid swims upright.

enter image description here

enter image description here

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  • $\begingroup$ Reminds me of a movie I saw once where people were burned to death for having relations with an animal, and they could actually transform into human form unlike these examples. I think it was Underworld. $\endgroup$ – DKNguyen Feb 21 at 3:08
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Scuba-diving

If they're truly in love, I'm sure Bob would be willing to invest in some scuba-diving lessons and equipment. As for the method, online YouTube videos show that Dolphins mate face-to-face.

enter image description here

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    $\begingroup$ Water is very cold and the human heart will divert blood flow away to the head to keep brain warm, also without something to attach to like the male anglerfish the aim will be way off... I suggest investing in shooting course and kungfu such as the Shaolin tiger claws ;D $\endgroup$ – user6760 Feb 18 at 12:21
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    $\begingroup$ @user6760 There are many warm seas in the world - the Caribbean for example. We aren't told that they live in a cold climate. Humans can wrap their arms and legs around a mermaid. A mermaid can wrap their arms around a human. I'm not sure how weapons would help in a romantic situation. $\endgroup$ – chasly - supports Monica Feb 18 at 14:44
  • $\begingroup$ Importantly, can the mermaid comfortably breath in warm water? If she is used to the cold sea, the warmth of water that a human could function in may be extremely uncomfortable or even noxious to her. $\endgroup$ – forest Feb 22 at 8:53
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    $\begingroup$ @forest - That question needs to be directed to the OP. If she hates warmth and he dislikes cold, I think that, either they would never meet for long enough to fall in love, or he would need to wear a wetsuit. There are other aspects of being cold as a male that might cause problems! $\endgroup$ – chasly - supports Monica Feb 22 at 17:09
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I'm not going to diagram them up - I couldn't find anything exactly matching your requirements on deviantart but rule 34 should still apply and I guess I'm not looking hard enough to find these images.

Basically if her "tail" can't split then replace this with "knees together" in current human sexual reproduction. You're basically limited to positions where the female's thighs and body are at a right angle. There are lots of choices where female knees are together but body bent, 2 of the most common involve entry from behind, which may or may not work with the relevant body structure of your mermaid.

  • My first thought would be mermaid bent over some furniture, tail on ground, human male standing straight behind. Male could even grab to dorsal fin for leverage. May need a stool or stepladder depending on relative heights and structure of tail. With an above ground pool may help her breathe and regulate temperature.

  • Alternatively, male sitting on edge of bed, mermaid sitting on lap facing away. Male leans back far enough to avoid the dorsal fin.

  • Or, if sexual organs are totally inaccessible from the rear so those positions are no good, and the only access is upward from her front without her "thigh fin" bending backwards; everything gets a good lube, Male lies down on bed legs spread and slightly lifted, she lies on him higher up, and she slides down until penetration. Dorsal fin remains free and facing upwards.

If either of those proved unworkable a quick trip to the hardware store to rig up some contraption and position all parts in the perfect position should solve all problems. If your arranging cross-species sex youre probably kinky enough that you're ok with a little light bondage to help accessibility.

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    $\begingroup$ it's not just "knees together", though. the relevant cavity is only accessible from one side, presumably the front. anything from behind is impossible. unless the other cavity is open game but i assume that goes against the spirit of the Q. $\endgroup$ – ths Feb 18 at 9:30
  • $\begingroup$ @ths, as far as I know sea mammals and fishes don't do business number 2 from their back... $\endgroup$ – L.Dutch - Reinstate Monica Feb 18 at 11:15
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    $\begingroup$ @ths in which case my "visit a hardware store and build something to hold everyone in the right position" applies. The protagonist is screwing a different species, I'm sure a little suspension bondage to allow better access is within their kinks. $\endgroup$ – Ash Feb 18 at 11:26

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