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Babies who lose their biological parents accept milk and nurturing from any person(s) no matter his or her color, sex, religion, or social status. So some conditioning occurred for babies with or without biological parents to grow up to fear, hate, and/or be greedy. How to change their adult minds?

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    $\begingroup$ "How to change their minds?" Does "their" mean "the babies"? Changing the mind of babies would be a great achivement, given that babies, by and large, are governed by built-in instincts; one of the most important tasks of parents / caretakers is to socialize the babies, that is, turn them from instinct-driven animals into culture-driven humans. If "their" does not refer to "the babies", to whom does it refer? $\endgroup$ – AlexP Sep 17 '17 at 14:49
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    $\begingroup$ Do you need to the babies to be fearful, hateful, and greedy, or they are already fearful, hateful, and greedy, and you want to change that? $\endgroup$ – Vylix Sep 17 '17 at 14:56
  • $\begingroup$ Sorry I meant after babies are grown up. "How to change minds of adults who fear, hate and/or are greedy?" Is my question. I meet adults who told me there is no basis for their fear, hate, and/or greed. They said that they have fear, hate, and/or greed. $\endgroup$ – Lisa Lozinsky Sep 17 '17 at 15:02
  • $\begingroup$ I met some of these adults at work, universities, airplanes, and other social places. They told me that there is no basis for their fear, hate, and/or greed. They said that they are just that way without any desire to understand their own logic. $\endgroup$ – Lisa Lozinsky Sep 17 '17 at 15:26
  • $\begingroup$ Sorry, not sure what sort of answer you are after. Do you want to know how to stop a baby ever becoming a hateful, fearful, greedy person? Or do you want to know how to turn a hateful, fearful, greedy person back to the non-hateful 'baby-like' mindset? $\endgroup$ – DrBob Sep 17 '17 at 15:30
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People usually hate because they are being harmed, they're afraid, they see something bad happening that makes them feel really bad, or they have an evil desire to hurt others for their own gratification (this isn't really hate, but it very often masquerades as hate, usually with a bunch of lies as justifications).

For scared, upset, or harmed people:

  1. Consider whether or not you have the right to force your will on these people and force them through manipulation or coercion to think and feel how you want them to. (hint: the answer is no.)

  2. Stop whoever is hurting them from hurting them any further, make them safe from similar harm which could happen in the future, and bring the perpetrators to justice. This could be as simple as calling out an online hate mob and telling them to stop attacking an somebody over something trivial. Telling the truth about who did what to them. Actual crimes would be processed through the courts. Social injuries could be dealt with by telling the truth about what happened and shunning the perpetrator.

  3. After they are safe, ask them to consider forgiving the people who harmed them. When they're safe and have a true reality-based expectation of safety in the future, and the truth has been told about the perpetrators who harmed them, they don't need to hate anymore. Acknowledge the merit of their hate, admit the perpetrators earned it, remind them that they have it in them to be free, peaceful and happy again, and leave the person alone while they go on their journey of healing and forgiveness.

For people who get off on hurting others with fake outrage and hate:

  1. Expose everything they do. Prove how their harassment and cruelty of an innocent person over some perceived slight or trivial failing is based on lies, and make sure everyone sees the proof.

  2. When the hatemeister figures out that everyone knows exactly how he is, that you and other people of good character will publicly reveal the truth (and only the truth) about what he's doing every single time he goes after somebody, and he kind of doesn't have anyone who's willing to even talk to him anymore, and all he has left is to sit there by himself, he might take a break from bothering people. When he tries it again, expose him again. Eventually he'll get older and he might grow up and get on with his life instead acting hateful to people to satiate his own emotionally deformed impulses to hurt others.

For the adults you mentioned, they really need to do some very deep and sincere introspection about why they feel the way they do. Feelings like that just don't happen. I get the impression that someone told them they're haters when they're really not, and someone told them that they're greedy when they just want success, security and luxury like everyone else in the world. If they're talking about a powerful compulsion to acquire more and more even though they don't want to, that's pathological and they might want to get help to work through it. They might have injuries to the threat response parts of their brains, which makes them react more intensely to perceived dangers or things they don't like. This can be extremely unpleasant/painful for people who are suffering from it. It's also easily treatable with a six month protocol with a good neurologist/functional medicine doctor and some good long term brain health support.

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  • $\begingroup$ Thank you all for sharing great answers and helpful feedback to help me to think and write clearer questions in the future. Today is my first time doing this online. Have a great day! $\endgroup$ – Lisa Lozinsky Sep 17 '17 at 16:55
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The best cure for hate: love. Try giving acceptance and compassion to those you feel may be on a wrong path, don't let them push you away when they need a friend, but allow enough space for them to come to come around, sometimes all someone needs is a good friend and a listening ear. The best cure for ignorance is of course education. The more exposure someone has to a culture/race, the less likely they are to fear and hate them. Invite them to places where they can interact with those who are different and challenge their perception of what "normal" is, not with lectures, but through experience, show, don't tell or preach. They have to see for themselves that they are misinformed. No amount of words can teach someone something they don't want to hear, but a few hours a week spent in the company of diverse and different people can paint a picture like nothing else can. If possible, invite them over to your home for meetings or just a diner with people of different ethnic backgrounds, have them tell stories, and let them know in advance that you have a "less than tolerant" friend who's horizon you wish to expand. Take them out to a bar for a night with "the guys" and have them get to know different kinds of experiences and people. Most of all, be patient and accepting and realize this will take time, don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out as well or as fast as you would hope, people come around in their own way and time and an epiphany like that won't just happen overnight, but gradually over time, keep showering them in positive emotions and energy regardless of what they say or do, for ever intolerant remark, show twice as much patients, and eventually you may see a different side to them. Sure, this may seem like a frustrating amount of work, but if you feel there is hope for them, if you feel they are worth it, don't give up on them, cause that's exactly what they expect, its probably what everyone else has done their whole lives.

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