In a timeline where the UK defeated the rebels and retained control over the thirteen colonies- how would their history books depict the other side? I assume they would vilify the so-called Founding Fathers, what is the most likely way they would do so?

  • $\begingroup$ This is highly dependant on how the rebellion ended. Could you clarify. $\endgroup$
    – sphennings
    Apr 10, 2017 at 18:53
  • 3
    $\begingroup$ The War of Colonial Aggression, perhaps (0:14)? In all seriousness, they'd certainly blame the Americans for starting the whole thing. $\endgroup$
    – HDE 226868
    Apr 10, 2017 at 18:54
  • $\begingroup$ Guy Fawkes day would probably have a different name. $\endgroup$
    – Werrf
    Apr 10, 2017 at 19:02
  • $\begingroup$ With paintball guns. The war's over man. $\endgroup$
    – user458
    Apr 11, 2017 at 2:13

2 Answers 2


British history books of what year?

In 1790, the books would be quite negative about Washington, etc, of 1776.

By 1820, they would record 1776 as the start of "The First American Revolution," noted for its lack of technological advantage when compared to the Second American Revolution powered by US steam ships in 1809. The original revolutionaries would be recorded as dangerous fools who wrote a bunch of inciting rhetoric that lingered long enough to inspire the second attempt.

In 1870, following the US conquest of Britain, the First Revolutionaries would be accorded honors in the British history books, since those books would be written in the USA and shipped over.

Your question requires perspective. And it can bend pretty much any way you as an author want.

  • 5
    $\begingroup$ I want to read about this timeline :) $\endgroup$ Apr 10, 2017 at 19:47

Assuming everything else in your timeline is the same with the only difference being who won the American war of independence, the founding fathers would likely be cast as a group of rowdy drunks with no loyalty or social obligation. The biggest reason for the revolutionary war was the fact that the British were imposing taxes upon the colonies without allowing them representation in parliament, so this refusal to pay taxes would be used to paint them as greedy and arrogant. After 1833, they may also be called hypocrites for their talk of freedom and equality while nearly every one of the American founding fathers owned slaves.

Benjamin Franklin in particular would be painted as a debauched, manipulative, whoremonger due to his proclivity towards long trips to France on which he would routinely copulate with as many women of the night as possible. He was also known to enjoy drinking, which any propagandist would spin along with the whoremongering to paint a picture of an old lecher who wanted a country to be his playground.

George Washington would likely be shown as a pansy who only got his rank in the military through nepotism, more concerned with the profits of his plantation than the people of the country he was forming. He may also be shown as a spoiled child who didn't think of the consequences of starting a revolution before doing so due to his close relationship with his mother.

Thomas Jefferson would probably be painted as a stuffy academic who never worked a day in his life. They'd probably call him a drunk too for good measure.


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