Some useful discussion and links can be found on projectrho.com, I mentioned these in comments before the question was migrated but they were deleted in the migration, so I'll repost here. First of all, in the Space War page, at the top there are various links to posts on the "rocketpunk manifesto" blog which have good discussions of issues relating to space combat. And here are some other good pages from projectrho.com:
Detection in Space Warfare (most relevant to your questions about stealth)
Defenses in Space Warfare
Introduction to Space Weapons (mostly just devoted to classification, but has a link to this site which has a lot of interesting ideas)
Conventional Space Weapons
Exotic Space Weapons
Space Warship Designs
Combat Theater
Planetary Attack
You can find some other semi-relevant pages if you google site:www.projectrho.com and "space war" (in quotes), but the other pages I saw are almost entirely devoted to describing how space war was depicted in various science fiction works rather than discussing how it would "realistically" work.
(edited to add that I recently came across another good article about realistic space combat, The Physics of Space Battles)
Since your question is mainly about whether it would be possible to "hide", definitely look through the "Detection in Space Warfare" page, the author is of the definite opinion that none of the proposed solutions would work. For example, here's the discussion of just channeling exhaust and waste heat in a narrow beam going in the opposite direction of where the enemy is located:
Glancing at the above equation it is evident that the lower the
spacecraft's temperature, the harder it is to detect. "Aha!" you say,
"why not refrigerate the ship and radiate the heat from the side
facing away from the enemy?"
Ken Burnside explains why not. To actively refrigerate, you need
power. So you have to fire up the nuclear reactor. Suddenly you have a
hot spot on your ship that is about 800 K, minimum, so you now have
even more waste heat to dump.
This means a larger radiator surface to dump all the heat, which means
more mass. Much more mass. It will be either a whopping two to three
times the mass of your reactor or it will be so flimsy it will snap
the moment you engage the thrusters. It is a bigger target, and now
you have to start worrying about a hostile ship noticing that you
occluded a star.
Dr. John Schilling had some more bad news for would be stealthers
trying to radiate the heat from the side facing away from the enemy.
"Besides, redirecting the emissions merely relocates the problem. The
energy's got to go somewhere, and for a fairly modest investment in
picket ships or sensor drones, the enemy can pretty much block you
from safely radiating to any significant portion of the sky.
"And if you try to focus the emissions into some very narrow cone you
know to be safe, you run into the problem that the radiator area for a
given power is inversely proportional to the fraction of the sky
illuminated. With proportionate increase in both the heat leakage
through the back surfaces, and the signature to active or semi-active
(reflected sunlight) sensors.
"Plus, there's the problem of how you know what a safe direction to
radiate is in the first place. You seem to be simultaneously arguing
for stealthy spaceships and complete knowledge of the position of
enemy sensor platforms. If stealth works, you can't expect to know
where the enemy has all of his sensors, so you can't know what is a
safe direction to radiate. Which means you can't expect to achieve
practical stealth using that mechanism in the first place.
"Sixty degrees has been suggested here as a reasonably 'narrow' cone
to hide one's emissions in. As a sixty-degree cone is roughly
one-tenth of a full sphere, a couple dozen pickets or drones are
enough to cover the full sky so that there is no safe direction to
radiate even if you know where they all are. The possiblility of
hidden sensor platforms, and especially hidden, moving sensor
platforms, is just icing on the cake.
"Note, in particular, that a moving sensor platform doesn't have to be
within your emission cone at any specific time to detect you, it just
has to pass through that cone at some time during the course of the
pre-battle maneuvering. Which rather substantially increases the
probability of detection even for very narrow emission cones.
Then the page gives another quote from Ken Burnside:
"The problem with directional radiation is that you have to know both
where the enemy sensor platforms are, and you have to have a way of
slowing down to match orbits that isn't the equivalent of swinging end
for end and lighting up the torch. Furthermore, directing your waste
heat (and making some part of your ship colder, a related phenomena)
requires more power for the heat pump - and every W of power generated
generates 4 W of waste heat. It gets into the Red Queen's Race
very quickly.
"Imagine your radiators as being sheets of paper sticking edge out
from the hull of your ship. You radiate from the flat sides. If you
know exactly where the enemy sensors are, you can try and put your
radiators edge on to them, and will "hide". You want your radiators to
be 180 degrees apart so they're not radiating into each other.
"Most configurations that radiate only to a part of the sky will be
vastly inefficient because they radiate into each other. Which means
they get larger and more massive, which reduces engine
performance...and they still require that you know where the sensor
is.
"The next logical step is to make a sunshade that blocks your
radiation from the sensor. This also requires knowing where the sensor
is, and generates problems if the sensor blocker is attached to your
ship, since it will slowly heat up to match the equilibrium
temperature of your outer hull....and may block your sensors in that
direction as well.
Update: Some commenters have been asking about the possibility of having a sort of "heat battery" which absorbs waste heat generated by propulsion and other systems on the ship for the period of time where it needs to be stealthy, and is well-insulated so as not to give off detectable blackbody radiation, or to leak its energy to other parts of the ship as heat, so that from the outside the ship would not give off radiation due to heat. I found some useful equations relevant to the feasibility of this, so I thought I'd post them.
Suppose we want to have enough fuel for some set of maneuvers during the period the rocket needs to be stealthy, such that, if the same amount of fuel were spent just accelerating the rocket continuously in one direction, the rocket's change in velocity would be $\Delta v$. Then if the final mass once all this fuel is spent is $m_1$ (which will include both the mass of the weapons and other useful systems, like life support if the rocket is manned and computers and sensors if it's not, as well as the mass of the heat battery), and the initial mass including fuel is $m_0$, and the effective exhaust velocity of the propellant is $v_e$, then the Tsiolkovsky rocket equation relates these quantities:
$\Delta v = v_e \ln \frac{m_0}{m_1}$
A related equation is the amount of energy the fuel must supply to the rocket in order to achieve this $\Delta v$, given the effective exhaust velocity $v_e$ and the final mass $m_1$ that should be left over once the fuel is used up. As given in the "energy" section of the spacecraft propulsion article on wikipedia, "If the energy is produced by the mass itself, as in a chemical rocket", then the energy would be given by this formula:
$E = \frac{1}{2}m_1 (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2$
The "internal efficiency" $\eta_{int}$ of a rocket is the ratio of the actual increase in linear kinetic energy delivered per unit time to the internal chemical energy used up per unit time, as explained here, so if the the fuel delivered an amount of linear kinetic energy $E$ to the rocket while it was burned, the original chemical energy must have been a greater amount $E / \eta_{int}$, and thus the energy lost to heat must have been approximately $(E / \eta_{int}) - E = E( \frac{1}{\eta_{int}} - 1) = E\frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}$ (Note that this isn't exact, because some of the loss of efficiency is not due to energy lost to heat, but rather due to exhaust particles having some kinetic energy that isn't parallel to the direction the rocket is traveling. Also I'm assuming below that the heat battery is somehow absorbing all energy lot to heat, the calculations would be somewhat different if heat couldn't be channeled away from the exhaust trail, but only the heat that would be added to the ship itself, see the chart here for estimates of about how much fuel energy is lost to each. Maybe the best way to be stealthy would be to avoid chemical rocketry with hot exhaust trails, and instead use something like a mass driver that could fling a stream of cooled pellets backwards at high velocity.) So using the above formula for $E$, the heat generated $Q$ would be approximately:
$Q = ( \frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}) \frac{1}{2}m_1 (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2$
If the heat battery has mass $m_b$ and specific heat $c$, then rearranging the formula here, we can see that absorbing heat $Q$ will cause a temperature change $\Delta T$ of:
$\Delta T = \frac{Q}{c m_b}$
And in the equation for $Q$, we can replace the final mass after fuel is expended, $m_1$, with $m_b + m_p$, where $m_b$ is again the heat battery mass and $m_p$ is the remaining payload mass (weapons etc.). Then combining the equations gives:
$\Delta T = ( \frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}) \frac{1}{2 c m_b}(m_b + m_p) (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2$
With some algebra you can solve this for the ratio of the heat battery mass $m_b$ to the remaining payload mass $m_p$:
$m_b / m_p = \frac{( \frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}) \frac{1}{2 c } (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2 }{\Delta T \, - \, [( \frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}) \frac{1}{2 c } (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2 ]}$
The part to note is the denominator, which goes to zero if $\Delta T = [( \frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}) \frac{1}{2 c } (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2 ]$, which would make $m_b$ infinite; and since $m_b$ can't be negative either, that means for a physically realistic solution you must satisfy $\Delta T > [( \frac{1 - \eta_{int}}{\eta_{int}}) \frac{1}{2 c } (e^{\Delta v / v_e} - 1)v_e^2 ]$, which can be rearranged as:
$\Delta v < v_e \ln [(\Delta T (\frac{\eta_{int}}{1 - \eta_{int}}) \frac{2c}{v_e^2}) + 1]$
You can plug some numbers into this equation to get some sense of the limitations it puts on any such system. For example, say our heat battery starts off at 0 K, and its temperature can increase up to 1000 K before the insulation can no longer keep a system that hot hidden from the outside, so $\Delta T$ = 1000 K. And say the specific heat $c$ is 0.9 kJ/(kg K), the same as that of the tiles on the space shuttle at 400 K according to this, which converted into SI units becomes 900 J/(kg K). And suppose $\eta_{int}$ is 0.8, which would be extremely good according to the table here ($\eta_{int}$ = 1 would mean no energy lost to heat at all), which would make $(\frac{\eta_{int}}{1 - \eta_{int}})$ equal to 4. Finally, suppose the effective exhaust velocity $v_e$ is 2,500 m/s, about the same as a typical solid rocket according to the table in the "examples" section of the specific impulse wiki article. With these numbers, the formula tells us that $\Delta v$ cannot exceed 2500*ln(1000*4*(2*900)/(2500)^2 + 1), plugging that into the calculator here gives a maximum $\Delta v$ of about 1916 m/s, just slightly under the amount of fuel needed to achieve escape velocity from the moon, and equivalent in fuel use to about 196 seconds of 1G acceleration. That doesn't seem like nearly enough for hitting a target in space that may be making unpredictable changes in its own velocity to confound possible pursuers even if it can't see them yet, and with the distances involved being very large. You can change some of those numbers and plug the altered formula into the calculator to see the effects, though.