Without boring you with details, in my world, a government is try to protect a package from ninjas crossing over from another world.

Technological Bases

The technology in this government's world is about the same as our own. The ninjas' technological level, by contrast, is about the same as Japan in the Colonial age (late 19th C).

The Ninjas

Ninja magical powers include:

  • invisibility: can be seen on cameras or with heat vision goggles

  • mind reading and control: limited to one or two minds at a time

  • create illusion: also limited to 1 or 2 minds

Ninja weaponry is also magical, such that even a single scrape will kill.

Ninjas can cross over at any place in our world.

The portals that the ninjas make range from small (can fit two or three people) to large (can fit around 10).

Portals can be made to prevent this-worldly objects from crossing over to the other.

Objects that pass through portals must go all the way through. No just sticking your hand out and snatching the case through without leaving the safety of the other side. Similarly, if people on the other side want to bring something to their side they have to actually go through the portal and get it: they can't just open a portal to where the object is in our world.

The Government Agents

To combat these ninjas, the government has access to a new technology that allows agents to see and track portals to the other world once they open. Agents cannot cross into the other world. The ninjas do not know about this technology.

The Package

  • The package is small enough fit into a briefcase.

  • Neither the ninjas nor the government are willing to destroy it.

  • The package is a very powerful magical object brought over from the other side. The government doesn't know what it does or why the ninjas want it, but they suspect it is the key to understanding how the ninjas' magic works.

  • It is unlikely that the government will be able to get their hands on another object from the other side, so this could be their only chance.

  • The government wants or needs continuous access to the package. Thus they cannot simply seal it in concrete or the like. That is, whatever vault or container they put it in must have an openable door of some kind.

  • The ninjas have a way of tracking the object in this world, but it takes a long time to narrow it down to a specific location. Thus, simply hiding the object isn't an option, but it will buy some time to prepare.

The Question

Knowing that the ninjas will come for the package eventually, what can the government do to protect it?

Note: it is probably that the ninjas will try multiple times. Whatever defenses are chosen must be flexible enough to withstand multiple attacks.

  • 2
    $\begingroup$ That all depends on what the package is. The defences you place around an inert package differ from those you place around a fragile one, or a perishable one, or a living one. $\endgroup$
    – Monty Wild
    Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 3:23
  • $\begingroup$ Also why anyone cares about the package. Until you give me a reason not to my first instinct is to just burn the package and go get a drink. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 3:34
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ It's important because needing to investigate the package limits my protection options. I assume that at least one government nerd needs regular access then? $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 4:11
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ @PyRulez as I said in my question the ninjas have a way of tracking the object but it takes time to narrow down the exact location. This gives the government time to come up with any defense they like. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 4:40
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ The answer is obvious: Anti-Magic ghost pirates riding robotic dinosaurs. $\endgroup$
    – Keltari
    Commented Jul 13, 2016 at 21:55

12 Answers 12


Choo Choo Trains

Let's be real: the Government has Important Science! to do. It can't be bothered sealing The Magic Widget in space, or spend time building an elaborate underground fortress. In fact, New York City (or Boston) already have the best option: the subway. Let's look at the qualities:

  • No one actually knows all the tracks on the subway and where they go. Therefore the Ninjas mind reading is useless.
  • The subway trains can keep moving, meaning by definition the Ninjas portals will be in the wrong place.
  • Subway train operators don't actually do anything, meaning putting an illusion on them doesn't help.

Meanwhile, it would be easy to retrofit a subway car with lab equipment (for Great Science!) and a few additional defensive measures:

  • Anonymous White Paint: Not only is white the antithesis of Ninja Black, but the Ninja will be intimidated by the unflappable pristineness of the subway cars. Naturally, you'd have to paint the entire system this way, but it gives good cover for the work needed to upgrade the system, so the Common Man doesn't need to know what's going on. Further, white reflects heat, meaning thermal sensors will work better.
  • Nitro Engine Boost: This way, if the Ninja happen to find the subway car with the Widget, you can quickly speed up and get away. Bonus, if the Ninja is in the car already, they are thrown to the ground by the sudden acceleration!
  • Good Brake Pads: Really the same thing, in reverse. The Ninjas best come prepared for a few concussions.
  • Robot Controlled Gas: Any heat-signature that isn't carrying a Friend-or-Foe transponder triggers the close-call defense system: a wide array of different gasses liable to take out a Ninja. (The scientists doing Great Science! are naturally wearing Space Lab Suits whenever in the subway car.) VX gas, mustard gas, freezing gas, gasoline (and a lighter). Really all the gasses, in different cars. The Ninja will never know what to expect!

The government can keep pumping out these subway cars. They can attach them to any train. Then, they create a bunch of Decoy Widgets and place them in the Fare Collection Carts that all the stations use to move their money around. The Transit Authority - you know, train station cops - would move these around between cars using the already in place arcane system of security, deception, misdirection and shotguns - all while thinking they're moving cash not Widgets. If the Government sees the Ninjas coming, they shuffle the deck a little. Always keep the widget moving! Always on a subway car, only on a platform for a few minutes at a time - but which platform!? No one knows.

In short, there is no job too dangerous to be handled by a good Train. Trust me when I say this is not a trainwreck of an idea.

  • 2
    $\begingroup$ A very practical but creative answer. $\endgroup$ Commented Jul 14, 2016 at 0:29
  • $\begingroup$ You can't nitro boost an electric vehicle (like a subway). $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 16, 2016 at 13:09
  • $\begingroup$ @JoshVanderHook That is not what you might call a "literal" suggestion... $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 16, 2016 at 16:31
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Hmm ... I think Mr @NathanielFord forgot to mention Vincent, hero of the Beauty and the Beast TV series, is always riding around on the roofs of subway trains. He could help fight the ninjas... $\endgroup$
    – akaioi
    Commented Sep 1, 2017 at 7:01
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ I think you have just explained why the Washington Metro 7000-series subway cars are so shiny. WMATA is fighting portal-hopping ninjas! $\endgroup$ Commented May 12, 2021 at 13:20

It's not sufficient for the defense itself, but will add a good layer of security: robots.

The robots could easily kill or capture ninjas, because those are visible on cameras and shouldn't be able to use mind-reading, mind-control and illusions on machines. Ninja's magical weapons shouldn't magically-kill dead things (such as robots), and non-magical weapons are probably useless against modern materials.
The robots would need some top-notch recognition software, of course, in order not to attack fellow guards and scientists. That software is the weakest link.

It's probably worth checking if the ninjas are able to mind control dogs. If not, you could train the dogs to tolerate the known guards and scientists, and to attack strangers. And that, in turn, triggers the robots.


Protecting the package is quite simple. Put it in a sealed room filled with an aerosol nerve agent such as VX that works on skin contact, such that one doesn't even have to breathe it to be poisoned. By providing the room with considerable overpressure, not only will the invading ninja be poisoned, but also anyone on or near the far side of the portal may also be poisoned by the gas passing back through the portal, just as an additional bit of discouragement.

In order to ensure that the briefcase is not simply snatched by a dying ninja, put it in layer after layer of cage, so that while the ninjas may be able to cut through them or pick the modern locks if they are magically able to do so, it will take time that will allow the VX to kill them.

I think after many of their number don't come back, and after the people remaining on the ninja's side of the portal begin to die too, the ninjas will get the idea that trying to snatch the briefcase is a bad, bad idea.

  • 3
    $\begingroup$ As a mind reading ninja I see your skin contact poison and raise you a hazmat suit. Colonial age japan knew about poison. And thanks to mind reading we know about hazmat suits, nerve agent antidote drugs atropine and pralidoxime (2-PAM), and a sedative/antiepileptic such as diazepam. As well as where to find them. I also defeat your nested cages by opening the portal inside all of them with an opening just big enough for a briefcase. I then burn the package because I still don't know why I care. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 4:06
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    $\begingroup$ @CandiedOrange, the briefcase will be coated in VX, there are no minds to read or control there, the colonial age Japanese did not have hazmat suits as standard ninja gear, and they didn't know about nerve agents that work on skin contact. The briefcase is chained down, and VX is flowing rapidly through the portal, poisoning the ninjas and their associates. Oh, and whatever the ninjas think might be in the briefcase might not even be in the briefcase anymore... or at least that one $\endgroup$
    – Monty Wild
    Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 4:16
  • 3
    $\begingroup$ Ninja's knew the importance of information. You've done nothing in your answer to protect the knowledge of how the package is protected. So I see no reason to assume they aren't reading your answer right now. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 4:19
  • $\begingroup$ @CandiedOrange, except that they probably don't read latin/English. $\endgroup$
    – Monty Wild
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 22:08
  • $\begingroup$ unforunately they read your mind and realized they they should learn English. Then they realized they could just make you read it and keep reading your mind. Damn lazy ninjas. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 23:22

The government should make an enormous cube of some very sturdy material (steel etc), so it cannot be cut into in any reasonable time. Bury it underground to make it harder. In the center of this cube, in a room too small for any human to enter, they can put the briefcase.

Then drill several tunnels (at least three per ninja, but more is better). In any case, the number of tunnels must be more than three times the number of ninjas that could conceivably show up. The tunnels should be large enough for a human, but narrow to be too small for a human as they get closer to the briefcase. In each of these tunnels, place a fanatic, each in constant communication with the others (closed channels, wires running through the steel).

In order to retrieve the briefcase, each fanatic must press a button. When they do so, it will trigger explosions that kill them, but also open a path to the briefcase. But they are fanatics, so they don't care. The cost of retrieving the package is high, but presumably worth it given its importance.

  • Q: Why can't the ninjas teleport to get the package? A: The space in which the package is contained is too small for a human being. Anyone trying to enter will be crushed.
  • Q: Why can't the ninjas simply suicide? A: There aren't enough ninjas to press the buttons, even with mind-controlled dupes dragged through the portals. Press the buttons with too few people and nothing happens, and the system is disarmed for a long time.
  • Q: Why can't the ninjas control the fanatics? A: By design, there are too many of them. The ninjas can't control all the fanatics at once, and so they cannot trigger the system. Try to get one of the fanatics to press a button and the rest will suicide, preventing the system from triggering until the government can recruit more fanatics. Ideally the fanatics can have passwords too.
  • Q: Why can't the ninjas simply recruit people (without mind control) to help them get the package? A: Well, the fanatics are willing to die for their (government, way of life, planet). One assumes that only the ninjas are willing to die for the ninjas.
  • Q: Why can't the ninjas simply poison the fanatics, say, by controlling people to poison their food? A: They certainly can. However, it would do them no good, since the fanatics would simply be replaced (after long vetting, of course).

Ideally, this could serve as a trap for the ninjas. Include exactly enough fanatics for the ninjas to mind-control but not enough for all the buttons. Then make sure everyone who knows how many fanatics there really are is retired, (or dead). When the ninjas read the minds of the people who are working on the project, they will think there are enough fanatics, but in reality there are not. In this case, when not all the buttons are pushed some device rapidly kills anyone in the cube. (Explosions, rapid compression, whatever). Ideally, the ninjas will be expending all of their mind control on the fanatics, but will never have a chance of opening the chamber (there simply are not enough people). The government certainly could, since when they need to open the chamber they will discover that there are far too few fanatics, but they can deal with that if they really need to get the briefcase.

The fact is that having a target makes the ninjas much easier to deal with. If someone could appear anywhere in the world instantly, retreat to their own safe realm, conceal themselves, and control a small number of people, they would likely never be caught, because they will never be in a place that you control, and you will never catch up. But if you can ensure that they have to come to a certain place, then you might be able to control the flow of events.

  • $\begingroup$ I like your idea for a trap. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 18:11
  • $\begingroup$ Where do you get fanatics that are that fanatic? $\endgroup$
    – Monty Wild
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 22:14
  • $\begingroup$ ISIS? North Korea? Donald Trump rallies? The Unification Church? Seems like they are everywhere. ;) $\endgroup$
    – Obie 2.0
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 22:28
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Did you downvote because of that, Monty? You don't really need fanatics in the negative sense. The ninjas pose a threat to the security of the entire world. How many soldiers do you think would be willing to risk their lives for that sort of cause? $\endgroup$
    – Obie 2.0
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 23:30

Protect the Object

The key is limiting access. If the ninjas can't access the object, they can't steal it, but with (effectively) teleportation and mind reading, there is no way to hide the object. Instead, hide it in plain sight. Create a cage, just tall enough to hold the object, and just wide enough to allow access, but without being wide enough to actually extract the object. Now the object can't go anywhere.

Protect the Cage

But what if the room with the cage is breached, and the ninjas begin cutting the cage? Simple. The cage is wound with a single wire, and covered with a layer of hardy paint. Directly attached to the cage is a huge steel and concrete box that holds equipment to monitor the wire. If the equipment notices a change in resistance of the wire (which will happen if the wire is cut or bypassed), it detonates explosives around the object, destroying it. While the government doesn't want to damage the object, it's better to destroy it than to lose it. What's more, the ninjas should know about the explosives, which they will, with mind reading. And lots of signs. And a pre-recorded message.

Now, techs can still access the object, but ninjas can only touch it, not remove it.

Limiting Access

It's actually surprisingly easy to limit access to the room. If the ninjas can only open portals into a man-sized area or larger, all we need to do is reduce the access area to that of a single tech (or however many techs there will be). First, the facility holding the device should be underground. Not all that deep underground, either; only deep enough to limit any exterior access. Any maintenance tunnels, electrical conduit, etc. should be filled with foam, and secured with a hardy, welded door. Foam may not protect against much, but it will prevent a portal from opening.

The access tunnel to the device should be the size of a man-sized pod. As the pod carrying the tech slides/rolls/hovers down the track, thin steel rods retract to allow it to pass, then close. At no time during travel will there be a man-sized hole anywhere; the pod is filled with a tech, and the tunnel is filled with steel rods. Upon reaching the destination, the tech can open the front glass of the pod to access the object, move the pod for a better angle, and so on.


Mind control is a tricky one. If the tech has access and is mind controlled, there is a conceivable way to disable the explosives and extract the object. I'm making the assumption that a ninja must be physically close to mind control someone, otherwise the ninjas could send a horde over and just mind control everyone; additionally, mind control wears off after some time (a day, a week). Working on that assumption, the techs should also be isolated. Any time a new tech is admitted, the entire facility is shut down until after the possible mind control has worn off. The techs eat, sleep, bathe, and work in a man-sized hole. Even in their bunk areas, steel beams would forever be a hair's-breadth away. It would be incredibly claustrophobic, while at the same time being the safest place on Earth...

Passing Information

While the techs are guaranteed to be mind control and illusion free, those they pass their information to are not. So, the techs will pass information via closed-circuit systems to a very large group. An auditorium holding hundreds or thousands of scientists and officials will view the weekly reports; the tech won't see the crowd, but the crowd will see him. Additionally, the information can be released on the internet, coupled with various hashes to verify it.

  • $\begingroup$ you are correct about the proxcemity and time restrictions to mind control. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 19:06

Keep the package moving.

If the ninjas take, say, one day to narrow down the package's location to 1 km radius, move it by convoy twice daily to another city (or cities). Work can even be done on the move (within a big truck).

Use decoys.

Several false packages are on the move at the same time as the real package, and under the same guard. The guards must believe they're guarding the real package. Be sure to leak the location of at least one false package; each location must have automated defenses, which will activate for any unauthorised personnel or a portal opening.

Isolate and rotate workers.

Only the minimum amount of people must work with the package, and under heavy guard (mostly to complicate the ninjas' mind reading). No worker or guard will be told where the package was or will be, and ideally should not know where he/she is. Change workers weekly, with annual rotation, with no worker team knowing about any other team. So, no single worker team can compromise the package's location.

Communicate securely.

The complex organization needed for all the above should be done by encrypted channels, and nothing written down, so ninjas cannot steal any plans. The personnel which organizes cannot contact the package workers, and vice versa. The organization itself should be moving constantly, to avoid portals.


I can see three options:

One: Blatantly taking my cue from Monty Wild's answer:

Sink it. Somewhere deep.

Put the case in a box. Fasten a chain to the box that's got it's other end on a supership. Make the controls for the box secured by multiple people, all of whom need to input RSA token codes at exactly the same time. Make sure that the length of time it will take the box to reach the surface is greater than the maximum expected response time it could take you to blow up the ship. Drop the case over the side and let it drop to the bottom.

If the ninjas try to get the case directly they get hosed with an incredibly high pressure jet of water, preventing even the best protected ninja from entering. They can't hope to get a pressure suit small enough to fit through the portal (if you sink it deep enough), so they can't directly access the case.

If the ninjas try to take the ship you can easily detect portals opening on the vessel and scuttle it. They won't have time to retrieve the case before the ship sinks, rendering the case unretrievable (the ocean floor is not an easy place to search).

Unless your ninjas are happy to just drain the oceans. Then they can get to it. But frankly if they can do that I don't see how you can hope to win.

2: Keep it mobile

If the ninja take time to pin down the package's location then you can easily keep them off the scent with a series of specially modified big rigs. Put the package inside one and drive, with new co-ordinates and routes being relayed to each driver at random times in order to keep the Ninjas from knowing where you are. Anyone wanting access to the package will be put in a car and then sent to meet the lorries by an automated route finder. The package is transferred from one lorry to the next while on the move, whereupon the first lorry can refuel/get maintenance etc. This prevents any ninja from gaining access simply because they don't know where the lorries are going to be and they can't make a portal inside a moving vehicle.

3: Automated flamethrowers.

Put the object in a room. The roof of the room is covered in a series of high temperature flamethrowers. The inside of the room is constantly monitored using the portal tracking technology, as well as thermal and pressure sensors to counter the invisibility. If a portal is detected, anyone is detected inside the room without wearing a proper authorisation token, or anyone attempts to move the case the flamethrowers turn the inside of the room into a hellscape.

Make sure the ninjas know this. That way they know the case will be burnt to a crisp if they try to access it, and won't risk it's destruction.

  • $\begingroup$ the Ninjas have to be on in this world to read minds they would have to cross over first. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 13:28

If the ninjas know how the package is protected we lose.

If the ninjas know who is protecting the package we lose.

Therefor anyone the ninjas know about must be put out of the loop.

We could be wrong, but we shall assume the ninjas know the people who have the package. These people will endeavor to put themselves out of the loop.

The package will be sent to a new group of people. The old group will have no knowledge of who the new group is. The old group will prepare briefings for the new group. Information will flow one way.

The new group will assume they have a leak. Therefore, they will also send the package on to new groups. This is resource intensive so there is a limit on how many groups can be part of this.

Now it's a race. The ninjas have incredible powers. Given enough time they will find the package. It's just a question of solving the mystery of the package first.

The protection? It's a double blind. No one knows if the toothbrush they are working on is a magical tooth brush or a normal toothbrush. Other lightweight measures will be employed but this is the fundamental protection.

The other measures will be light weight specifically to make it easy to pass the package on to another group.

Ninjas can cross over at any place in our world.

To combat these ninjas, the government has access to a new technology that allows agents to see and track portals to the other world once they open. Agents cannot cross into the other world. The ninjas do not know about this technology.

If the ninjas do not know about this technology keeping it secret will be prioritized above whatever the package might yield. Much like when the allies broke the German enigma code. As long as they don't we know about where they are operating. If the ninjas know we can track their portals, they'll start taking a cab.

invisibility: can be seen on cameras or with heat vision goggles

So we use cameras, heat vision goggles, and in a pinch, flower dust on the floor.

mind reading and control: limited to one or two minds at a time create illusion: also limited to 1 or 2 minds

So we use counter intelligence measures. Compartmentalize. Assume a leak. And use at least 3 people.

Ninja weaponry is also magical, such that even a single scrape will kill

Our weaponry is no slouch, such that even a single bullet will kill

Ninjas can cross over at any place in our world.

This free's us of the burden of elaborate physical security. The only physical security we need is enough to keep normal people from figuring out what's going on and becoming a leak.

Thus a network of safe houses to provide a non-descript place to work is our best defense. A bonus would be a combination safe that no one person knows the full combination to, would be a useful way to slow them down, provided it doesn't slow us down. So maybe it's just a prop.

Misinformation can also be employed. Any of the ideas in the other answers would be a fine elaborate distraction that works even if the package isn't really there. We don't want the ninjas to even know our protection strategy.

The ninjas have a way of tracking the object in this world, but it takes a long time to narrow it down to a specific location. Thus, simply hiding the object isn't an option, but it will buy some time to prepare.

This is why it's good that we don't have a huge physical security footprint. The package is kept moving. All we have to do is keep buying time and we win.


Here's my solution:

Have the package sit in a tungsten (melting point of 6,191°F, or 3,422°C) container that sits inside a vault filled with lava, with a complex drainage system that requires a type of multiple-layer protocol to utilise in order to reach the package.

The ninjas can't protect themselves from the lava, and even if they had the technology to fashion out some form of protection, their movement and flexibility would be extremely hindered, and they'd no longer be invisible so it would be easy to attack them.

The vault's ability to reroute the lava elsewhere would be triggered by a series of security questions in the vault's computer, and the answers to those questions can only be given by people who are offsite, their positions unknown to the world - even the people who put them there.

Here's the rub, though - the bidirectional communication system also tells the answer-giver through heat signatures that there's too many people in the vault entrance - complex camera systems detected the presence of the ninjas. Turning off this camera system is also a giveaway.

If five people are supposed to be guarding the package, and either zero people (camera off) or six or more people (ninjas are there) are detected, then the security question answers are not given.

In the extremely off chance that the answer-givers are all captured simultaneously (the ninjas captured all humans on Earth or read all humans' minds to figure out who holds the answers) then the system will lock down anyway, adding redundancy to the security.


Put your thing on the ISS. Do your tests here. If they can open a portal in space, without a proper suit (destroy every suit on earth just in case they try to steal one) they are not going to like it (http://darklegacycomics.com/328 just fits the topic and funny. science based). If a portal is open on the ISS automatically eject the artifact on another orbit (in a proper satellite) now you'll need an expensive automated recovery mission to put it back on the ISS. If a ninja want the case they'll have to access ISS from earth. Make it so no living thing can do the trip (VX, liquid hydrogen, whatever lethal thing) so you can still resupply ISS with things that does not live and are therefore not ninjas. Now your scientist are stuck with the case until they can reveal its secrets. Bonus point: The case will move very fast making their detection ability useless. They'll have to predict the position of the ISS with rigorous floating point math. they'd better not forget a remainder...

  • $\begingroup$ You can replace ISS by any of the following: Moon settlement, deep ocean base, burrowed bunker (put the VX in the elevator). $\endgroup$
    – Nyashes
    Commented Mar 24, 2016 at 14:53
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ This also has a huge advantage of being in 0 gravity, which means they can't merely open a portal below the object and let the object fall through the portal. They will have to interact with it themselves $\endgroup$
    – Cort Ammon
    Commented Jul 13, 2016 at 22:41
  • $\begingroup$ Not to mention that if the portal is reasonably static (relative the earth) the ISS is travelling at high relative speed. That portal is going to be in open space before it can finish opening. $\endgroup$ Commented Jul 14, 2016 at 20:35
  • $\begingroup$ @CortAmmon: s/0 gravity/freefall $\endgroup$ Commented May 12, 2021 at 13:19
  • $\begingroup$ @codeswithhammer true. Lazy colloquial use on my part! $\endgroup$
    – Cort Ammon
    Commented May 12, 2021 at 15:19

Similar to Roux's answer, you just need a guard system that cannot be targeted by the ninja's abilities. The best suggestion would be some sort of room to store it in that has computer aided defenses.

Features of the defense:

  • It's robotic and cannot be mind controlled.
  • It will attack anyone who enters the room that does not have an ID with a matching passcode (or just any multi-level security that)
  • It has heat sensors that detect the invisible ninjas, and the technology to detect portals
  • It requires at least 5 or 6 keys, given to one person each to deactivate it, which means the the ninjas would need at least 3 people to mind control the correct people. Add more keys if needed, create an inheritance chain for the key if someone dies etc.
  • The defense releases some kind of knock-out gas and shuts all entrances and exits when an unauthorized person or portal is detected.
  • The defense also uses tranquilizers to neutralize intruders (or something stronger like guns if weaker alternatives are ineffective).
  • The defense will also trigger if the package is moved too close to an exit or too far from it's home. In this case, everyone in the proximity of the package will also be tranquilized. (This prevents mind controlling a normal human to remove it for them.)

Use all of these features in a circular room with a ton of cameras and auto-targeting guns and it'll be fairly difficult for anyone not authorized to get in. Even if the ninja's know where it is and teleport in, it will immediately trigger the alarms and they will be targeted. This leaves anyone with access to observe it at will while it is still under protection.

  • $\begingroup$ better yet, make use of the keys engage a knockout gas if not also coupled with some off-site activation. Bob the janitor in Wyoming, who's only connection to this whole thing is his government paycheck from waxing the floors at the VA, has a button hidden in his maintenance closet that he is told to push when he runs out of bleach (which the gov't keeps him well stocked on). This button deactivates the knock-out gas for 24 hours, orders him additional bleach, and allows the keys to unlock the device. $\endgroup$ Commented Jul 14, 2016 at 20:40

Place the package inside a room with several automatic machine guns made to fire at anything above 20 degrees Celsius, with the room air conditioned to below that. Then, place it in a locked case attached to the ground. Any ninjas who try to dismantle the case or pick the lock get shot by the gun and killed before any progress is made.


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