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Ok, so another weird cockroach related question from me.

Anyway, I had an idea about a freak incident in Florida where a cockroach sprayed with (probably Raid)insecticide inadvertently getting into a microwave and being nuked along with whatever the dude was cooking and mutating(rather quickly) into a roughly mansized killer cockroach. What will I do with this info? No clue, probably make a Onionesque news report or a short story about it.

Regardless, here are the specifics

  1. The roach in question is either a German, American, or Smokeybrown cockroach.
  2. This mutation gives the roach immunity to the negatives of Square-Cube Law(collapsing on its own weight, suffocating, etc.) and keeps its stats (mostly)the same, just at human scale(6 foot tall).
  3. It is physically mostly the same, but as a mutant it is at around human-level IQ and can use its front and middle legs as arms and stand on its hind 2 legs like a human. It however, is strongly bloodlusted(probably from the whole incident) and will kill humans on-sight regardless of age or sex. It is not afraid to try out range weapons, like guns or (thrown) stones, but much prefers melee kills with its bare hands or a club/bat/blunt weapon.
  4. This takes places in modern day Florida medium populated zone, so like a suburb or town, not a city or a highly rural area.

So how many kills can it get in before it is, most likely, taken down by military/police force or slain by a fortune citizen(s)?

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    $\begingroup$ As many or as few as you want - it depends on whether it starts in a retirement home or a NRA meeting (though in Florida the two are not mutually incompatible). Or wanders into the road and plays dominance games with a semi-trailer. This is a plot decision, not something we can answer - VTC. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 29, 2023 at 23:55
  • $\begingroup$ Sure, but I want in to be in the limits of plausibility, I do understand that this answer is highly variable even with my specifics. @KerrAvon2055 $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 0:13
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    $\begingroup$ VTC:Too Story-Based. This question falls into my "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? As many as wanting!" category. There is no way to judge how well any defense can be mounted against a fictional creature that violates what we understand to be a limiting law of growth. Should we compare it to serial killers? Some kill a handful, others kill dozens, still others kill hundreds. There is no way to create an objective answer even if you were to tell us exactly which police force was involved and what year we should analyze. $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 0:24
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    $\begingroup$ BTW, based on your comment to @KerrAvon2055, I suspect you've fallen into the current fad of wanting everything fictional to be as non-fictional as possible. That's not good writing or good worldbuilding. If you write a good story, people will forgive almost any violation of suspension of disbelief you concoct. If you write a bad story, it won't matter how "realistic" you were. An important aspect of good worldbuilding is knowing when to stop worrying about science or the limits of plausibility and when to embrace imagination and narrative necessity. $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 0:28
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    $\begingroup$ @ConanHighwoods It's entirely opinion-based. Was the cockroach's initial contact with humanity at a military installation? Prison? School? Church? Neighborhood? Downtown? On a highway? Farm? Was the first person armed? Was the second person armed? The third? Was that person armed with a knife? a pistol? a rifle? a rocket launcher? Did the first person have a horse? a car? a bicycle? Is the carapace impervious to knives? small arms fire? a moving car? I can trivially concoct any number of kills you want. No, my vote to close stands. $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 1:27

2 Answers 2

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  • How long would killer animal be taken out
  • In Florida

I would estimate it would take approximately the time between:

"Hold my Beer" and "Watch this"

Edit:

In terms of Body Count - I would be surprised if it got even one.

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    $\begingroup$ "Florida Man mauls giant mutant cockroach after botching a pest control attempt, more on the news at 7" $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 0:48
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Assuming that the cockroach doesn't piss off an alligator and get attacked by it, and doesn't get run over by some guy driving a Ford F-350, there's 343,288 gun owners in Florida, which is 35% of the state's population.

Therefore, it's not going to take very long for the cockroach to come across one of those gun owners and be turned into a hunting trophy. It might get a few kills, but probably would be turned into a fine mist before it could kill more than 50 people.

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  • $\begingroup$ Definitely not thousands, maybe 20 or 30 if it gets really lucky but certainly not more than 50. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 0:34
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    $\begingroup$ So around 50 is realistic? I can see it. I just wonder how the guns most people(Floridians at least) own/law enforcement(I assume they come out before military, if it is needed) would fare against the exoskeleton of this roach. Any guesses? @HeatRouter $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 0:42
  • $\begingroup$ @ConanHighwoods Guess = opinion-based. $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 1:29
  • $\begingroup$ I'll assume that most gun owners have a .357 Magnum. Assuming that the 6ft cockroach weighs 200 pounds, it would be able to withstand 180,000 pounds of force since cockroaches supposedly can withstand 900 times their body weight. Your average .357 Magnum probably won't be powerful enough to kill it. You might have to find somebody with a 155mm howitzer in order to properly get rid of it. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 1:31
  • $\begingroup$ Is that a commonly owned gun? @HeatRouter $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 30, 2023 at 1:48

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