Yesterday I closed a deal with a man who claims to be from Haiti, I've successfully bought 5 zombies from him. According to his posting on eBay, the specs are as follows:
- The 5 zombies belong to a quintuplet.
- Carbon dating suggests they have been dead for a decade.
- All of them appear to be middle aged males of unknown race.
- No pulse, no blood circulation and they are cold-blooded (someone forgot to drain properly!).
- They are very obedient and only follow orders from a master who happens to be me.
- They don't need to breathe, eat, drink, or sleep.
- They have body odour and are quite pungent.
- They must be allowed to do at least 1 minute of jumping jacks every hour otherwise their body will crumble and fall apart (irreversible).
I'm hatching an evil scheme which will be revealed in due time, for now how can I have my packages delivered to my house intact? (This is not a spam, the entire transaction is legit and btw I live in Washington D.C.)
Item 8 is quite counter-intuitive but according to the man he mentioned about a Haitian's ritual and something about brewing "black-medicine", a unique solution that is needed to animate the deceased else the body would rot. The mind must kept active that's why it is recommended that they do jumping Jack on their own accords (actually this is preprogrammed before I got them second-hand).