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I have a pet rock that I bought from a store. It is about the size of my fist and is smooth with no features. I named it Rocky.

Rocky seems to be sentient and it follows me around everywhere I go. It doesn't make any noise, but I can tell it is watching me. It is getting really annoying.

I have tried everything I can think of to get Rocky to stop following me, but nothing works. I have tried putting it outside, but it just rolls back in. I have tried putting it in a box, but it just waits until I take it out. I have even tried putting it in the fridge, but it just sits in there until I take it out.

I am getting really frustrated. How do I get my pet rock to stop following me around?

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    $\begingroup$ It sounds like you can just put it in the box and not take it out? Or, if all else fails, just hit it with a hammer. $\endgroup$
    – Halfthawed
    Commented Jun 16, 2022 at 21:49
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    $\begingroup$ Moreover, does Rocky cause some kind of mental compulsion to take it out of a box? Most rock-containment methods only work because the people in question are more interested in keeping the rock in a box than taking it out of a box. $\endgroup$
    – KEY_ABRADE
    Commented Jun 16, 2022 at 21:50
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    $\begingroup$ Pet rock obedience school. Usually the first command they have success with is stay. If you are at the top of a hill, the are pretty responsive to the roll over command. $\endgroup$
    – UVphoton
    Commented Jun 16, 2022 at 21:53
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    $\begingroup$ There is a fantastic story to be made here about the exploits of a man trying to escape his tag-along pet rock. $\endgroup$
    – WasatchWind
    Commented Jun 16, 2022 at 22:09
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    $\begingroup$ VTC because (a) the help center states, "If ... you aren’t sure what a character (be it an individual or organization) should do, that is out of scope for the site." You appear to be asking what your character should do (storybuilding) rather than asking for help developing your creature (worldbuilding). (b) There's nowhere near enough detail about the physiology or psychology of the pet rock to have non-opinion-based answers. $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Jun 17, 2022 at 4:04

1 Answer 1

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Place Rocky into a sturdy terrarium with a padlocked lid. Hang this terrarium from a chain in your garage, so that Rocky can't bump into its walls from the inside to roll it after you - since Rocky is suspended above the ground, there's no surface for it to roll the box along. You may wish to furnish this terrarium with amenities such as padding, food or water dispensers, hamster wheels, wood chips, plants, or additional pet rocks, so as to maintain Rocky's physical and mental health.

When you want to take Rocky out of the terrarium, unlock the padlock, open the lid, and take Rocky out of the terrarium.

Unfortunately, there are no means of stopping you from taking Rocky out of the terrarium that don't involve Rocky's death or your simultaneously becoming physically disabled and somehow incapable of telling other people to take Rocky out of the terrarium.

After all, if you want to take Rocky out of the terrarium, you'll take Rocky out of the terrarium if you have the capability to do so. I am unsure how to overcome this actuality.

If Rocky is some kind of compulsive memetic hazard that makes you take Rocky out of a box against your will, please let me know, so that I can revise my answer.

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    $\begingroup$ Weld the lid shut. Put please no other pet rocks in the same enclosure. We do not want to risk a population explosion of pet rocks!!!!! $\endgroup$
    – Justin Thyme the Second
    Commented Jun 17, 2022 at 13:56

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