In a world of groovy super spies, how would a spy cross a ravine?

Question

I'm developing an alternate Earth where super spies exist. Men and women of extraordinary skill with extraordinary gadgets who act in extraordinary ways to protect the proverbial "King and country." They're so common that your average insurance policy has an "accidental victim of collateral damage due to international espionage" clause. And, like all good super spies, their stuff is just a little bit better.

• Technology available to the spies is smaller and lighter than what would be available to a corporation or "publically" available to a government in the real world in 2021. By that I mean, for example, that while a parachute that your average goombah can buy would weigh 10kg, your aveage super spy's would weigh only 5kg with corresponding reductions in volume, size, etc.

• Technology available to spies (TAS) would also be a bit more powerful. That average goombah's pistol might throw a 7g slug at 350 m/s, but the spy's would throw the same slug at 500 m/s and be half again as accurate.

• Similar improvements will be found in all gadgets available to the spies.

Above all, it's absolutely amazing what the super spies happen to have on them at any given time. Their quartermaster is remarkably foresightful!

So, here's the question: Our daring super spy is running for his or her life... only to discover a ravine! Can't turn left or right... the dogs will rip the spy apart! The only option is to jump/swing/fly/swim/belly-flop over the ravine! In style! (of course...) What tool can our spy's quartermaster provide to help the spy escape certain death and win the day?

1. This is a tool-development/technology-development question. You're designing a tool.

2. You have the technological limitations listed above.

3. The solution must be light enough to be carried by an athletic person at a full run for at least ten minutes (it's amazing how much ground a super spy can cover in just ten minutes!). I'm not worried about gender. If you can cite an example of any person who, as an example, can justify the solution you're proposing, you're on! (And that person's alter-ego in this world is probably a super spy, anyway. I'm lookin' at you, Grace Jones!)

4. The ravine is 50 meters wide and deep enough that if your solution doesn't work, the dogs won't matter.

5. While a use-once solution is acceptable, a reusable solution will be favored for "best answer" selection.

6. The most outrageous solution will take the green checkmark! By "outrageous" I do not mean "rube-goldberg." We're not looking for overly complicated. We're looking for clever you-wouldn't-see-that-on-the-shelf-at-Walmart type stuff. Clarification: Your solution is a working piece of equipment that was checked out from the quartermaster. I'm looking for creativity and some quirkyness, but the winning solution won't be "the spy found A, B, C, and D along the route and happened to fashion a tightrope and balance bar out of it."

7. BUT! The solution, while likely entirely implausible, can't violate the laws of physics. The solution might be impractical, possibly even impossible to reasonably build using the real Earth's 2021 technology, but the concept can't violate physics (which means inventing something like a couple of pounds of "gravitonium" kept in a magnetic container that, when removed, will lighten his body weight by 95% and allow him to jump the ravine... well... that dog won't hunt).

Answer 1

Pole vault

Your spy is a distinguished gentleman who carries a fashionable cane with a precious metal head. The head will be the focus of another escape, but for now the cane itself is fashioned after the form of multi-walled carbon nanotubes. With the right authentication it can instantly elongate to many, many times its original length, and the multiwalled tube structure still gives it substantial stiffness. (The electrical power source that drives the elongation can also be adapted to propel fast-moving objects down the tube by electromagnetic induction, but we'll let him use that to deal with the dogs on the other side of the ravine...)

Answer 2

Zip-zip line.

A small belt- or purse-carried (or included in a shoe?) module projects a small diameter, lightweight, but super strong line up to a couple hundred meters, where the (smart) grapnel will loop around something solid (tree trunk, power pole, etc.) and hook back to the line (just like in the movies). A secondary line can be pulled back from the belt module to securely wrap to a similar solid object, and the projector then first draws the line taut (this line had better be graphene nanotube based; we're about to stress it to improbable levels), then converts to a powered zip-line traverse that carries the spy across (even if the far end is up a bit, or not down far enough to coast at a useful speed).

Once across, the traverse module ignites the line which, because the cores of the nanotubes are filled with a strong oxidizer (pure oxygen, at a minimum), burns away completely in just a couple seconds, so the pursuing enemy can't follow.

Better run, Super Spy!

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Answer 3

Rockets, unlaunched.

Your spy has a rocket launcher. This mission called for that. Fortunately she only used one rocket and so has 9 left in the magazine. It is fortunate that it has a magazine because she is going to use those 9 one after the other.

She wraps her beach towel around the rocket launcher and jams the exit, then fires. The rocket is prevented from leaving the launcher and the exhaust carries her up at an angle out over the ravine. She clears the spent rocket and performs the same maneuver with rockets 3 through 10, so traversing the ravine.

Fortunately the beach towel was damp, but by the time she reaches the far side of the ravine it is smoking and catches fire. One snap extinguishes it and she takes it with. The empty rocket launcher is left behind. Also her flip-flops which fell off into the ravine.

Answer 4

A hang glider built into his suit jacket.

As our hero approaches the edge of the ravine, he whips off his suit jacket, pulls a telescopic rod from its inside pocket and extends it through the sleeves, then pulls hard on one of the buttons. Immediately, the jacket interior unfurls into a mini hang glider. He slows briefly to a sort of jog as he wraps some newly-exposed straps around his midsection, then resumes a full sprint. When he's only a few strides from the edge, he casually drops a mini smoke grenade on the ground to cover his escape. As he leaps off the edge at full speed, he deftly slides his feet into the final strap as the glider fills with air and begins to soar.

The dogs chasing him run full tilt into the smoke and only just barely manage to avoid accidentally running over the now-obscured edge. A young henchman is not so lucky, however, tripping over one of the dogs and letting off a Wilhelm Scream as he tumbles into the ravine. The remaining pursuers stop just short of the smoke cloud, weapons drawn but unable to see a target. By the time the smoke clears, our hero is well out of range, although that doesn't stop some of the henchman from trying. The enemy leader arrives at the scene just in time to see our hero reach the other side.

With his feet back over solid ground, he yanks on the tag inside the jacket, causing it to release the straps and begin rolling back into a normal jacket. Simultaneously, he presses a button on the end of the telescopic rod to collapse it back into his hand, which he casually slides through the sleeves, allowing him to land on the ground properly wearing the jacket again. He slides the rod back into the inside pocket, fixes his tie, then gets on a motorcycle that an ally had conveniently hidden behind some nearby shrubbery in preparation for the mission. He revs the engine, then turns back to his enemies, gives a smile and a mocking salute before riding off into the sunset.

Answer 5

Micro-thrusters, Wing-Suit, and Velcro-gloves

A combo move always looks cooler than a single one. My Spy running at full speed, hunting dogs about to take a bite at him, jumps into the ravine, deploys his integrated Wing-Suit, when it looked like he couldn't make it, fires a set of micro-thrusters under his shoes, reaches the other side cliff wall and clings to it using his velcro gloves.

Or if we can get external help, why not use a

Sky-Hook

Have you seen that batman movie, where batman kidnaps the bad guy from another country, using a skyhook. Same style.

Answer 6

Simple answer is a small parachute to get you across like a glider without dying, and then some climbing gear to get you from the cliff-face to the top on the other side, be it a grappling hook you attached to a bush while in the air, piton alternatives, or just plain badass bouldering.

My small brain can't really think of anything else.

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Oh wait, I got another one. What if he somehow gets one of the hunting dogs, deploys a parachute as a glider, and then hammer throws the dog over the ravine while holding on to get himself further. Then repeat the above.

Method of obtaining the dog not included

Answer 7

Well, clearly you want some type of jetpack. This kind has been in the news lately. Reduce the size by half with super-spy tech. If your spy is only interested in short 50m hops, the amount of fuel carried can be reduced to a minimum.

In order to make the jetpack more "unique" and possibly lower the weight, perhaps you could reduce the size of the jetpack further so it's just a single use solid fuel rocket. The rocket carries them across but has no landing capabilities. Add a small parachute so they don't break their legs on landing. (Or a concealed wingsuit that pops out of their clothing between their arms and legs, which would be less practical for landing but maybe more fun).

Such a rocket would be incredibly dangerous to use or train with. It could come with a guidance computer that automatically angles the nozzle to improve stability. Or the spy can just be that good.

Answer 8

Ballooning

International Super Spy John Done is sprinting away from the secret lab, microdots of data safely tucked into his shoe. A tingle on his neck warns the super spy an instant before it is too late : the ground has given way to a chasm five stories across.

What's this? A loose thread? John Done tucks at the tiny dangling fashion faux pas at the edge of his cuff. With only a tiny tug, the thread starts to give way. Agent Done holds the growing thread as it kites up in barely moving air. The super spy dons a glove that gives the tiny microfiber just enough charge to produce useful lift.

Before the facility guard dogs can arrive to tear him to bits, John Done has once again escaped certain death as he flies away like a spider on a thread balloon across the chasm.

Answer 9

ACME Sproing Boots!

See them in action: https://youtu.be/jo24NR7e4ew?t=113

Obviously, any good spy agency will employ a cadre to ensure that the springs are properly integrated with the footwear and function perfectly at need, and that the spy is properly trained in their safe use for launching, for landing...and perhaps occasionally as an aid to intimacy.

Answer 10

Explosion Assisted Human Cannonball Glide

Equipment Needed:

1. Shrapnel Resistant all purpose Vest: Really what spy isn't shot at?
2. Explosives: A good spy never leaves home without them.
3. Wing Suit: Standard issue for any spy working at heights.
4. IAFAS: Instant Airbag Fall Arresting System. Like a car airbag it explodes into an extra large cushion which is safe to land on for less than 1 second. Standard issue for any spy working at heights.

Procedure:

1. The spy improvises a Human Cannon using the vest to protect her from the blast, and the explosives to propel her. She also uses materials available near the ravine, Hollow Logs, rocks, dirt, or just digging it out if she has time. 45 degrees being the optimal angle for her trajectory.
2. The spy detonates the explosives and uses the vest to ride the blast, near the highest point of her flight, she deploys her wingsuit for added distance and identifies her landing point.
3. The spy arms the IAFAS and throws it from a height of 10 m (as per the instructions) at her landing point, the IAFAS explodes on impact, allowing the spy a relatively safe landing a moment later.

Notes:

1. The world record for human cannonballs is right around 60 m, so a spy in a wingsuit could certainly manage 50 m.
2. The improvised cannon is certainly a point of failure, and is likely to kill the spy more often than it works in the intended way. But... nobody said being a spy was easy or safe.
3. Hearing protection is recommended due to both the explosion as well as the deployment of the IAFAS. Otherwise the result is likely to be a deaf, but not dead, spy.
4. The pursuers will likely assume that the spy has not survived the explosion and will no longer pursue. Most of the time they'll be right.

GROOVY SUPER SPY TIP:

Faking this maneuver and hiding in a place insulated from the explosion is a valid method for evading pursuit without crossing the ravine. See Note #4 above. The smell of the explosives is typically sufficient to throw the dogs off your scent. This method is arguably a safer option.

P.S. When faking the maneuver, arm and throw your IAFAS into the bottom of the ravine.

Answer 11

The smallest parachute ever used in a landing in which the user survived had an area of only 3.25 m²2 (~25 square feet). It was used by Ernesto Gainza in 2014, and you can see a video of that here.

Your spy could use an enhanced version for base jumping.

Once in the water, the spy can use a small PADI diver propulsion vehicle to propel themselves in the water. In the picture you can see a relatively small one, your spy could have an even lighter one with better mileage in the same backpack as the parachute.

Answer 12

Every spy these days carries a surveillance drone. Couple of kilograms of thrust, 15-30 minutes of endurance, live action HD camera, the lot. Nowhere near enough to carry our hero across the ravine, naturally.

But ours was also installing a more permanent surveillance system (six camera angles, pan+tilt, all wired to a control system/transmitter/nuclear(RTG)power source in a briefcase (spies do still carry briefcases, right? and umbrellas?) for long term surveillance. None of which helps ... except the spool of wire in his hand when the hounds pick up the scent.

On the ravine edge he has just seconds to hook the spool to the drone, so it's freee to unroll the wire, and pilot it across the ravine and
arf! arf!
dance it round the tree opposite
arf! arf!
how does the knot go again? the rabbit comes out the hole, and round the tree?
arf! ARF! ARF!
no, the other way round the tree!
GRRRR! and back down the hole...
SNAP! OW!!!
haul in the slack, tie it to the tree at this end
roll credits and fade to black ... I'll finish this answer, same time next week...

Answer 13

Frisbo-Matic Spy Step

Introducing the Frisbo-Matic Spy Step; A tool any serious spy would never leave HQ without. Easily concealed under a dinner jacket the FMSS can be deployed in seconds to allow crossing of challenging obstacles such as rivers, ravines, shark pits and more.

To deploy the FMSS simply toss the device as you would a frisbee. This action awakens the internal computer and activates the 8 internal rotors allowing the FMSS controlled flight(like a drone). Upon awakening the FMSS computer will link to and monitor the precise position of the two individual shoe sensors(one in each shoe) that the user will be wearing. The FMSS computer will calculate and execute the movement of the entire FMSS unit to maintain a position under the leading foot of the user. After deployment the user will begin to run with large bounding(jumping) steps toward the obstacle they wish to pass.

In the example of a ravine, the user would bound run towards the ravine and deploy the FMSS as they approached the edge. As the user continued and bounded over the edge the FMSS would position itself under the users lead foot allowing the user to land on it and bound the next step. The FMSS is powered by 8 Spy Class motors working together to deliver a peak thrust powerful enough to momentarily stabilize the platform and up to 220 pounds weight at each land / bound cycle. Immediately following the bound phase the FMSS moves to the next position under the new lead foot allowing the user to continue taking bound jumps until the obstacle is crossed. With practice a user can even use a FMSS to clear a wall.

Of course that's not all, the FMSS can make difficult satellite connections a thing of the past. Simply flip the FMSS upside-down, point skyward and connect it to most any transmitting device.

NEW AND IMPROVED The upgraded 2.0 model features improved shoelace proof intake grating. Now you can worry more about the mission and less if your shoes are tied.