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The year is [Random number between 2100 and 3000]. I own a state-of-the-art GM laboratory with capacities to create any possible species, almost like in Spore Creature Creator. For my own amusement, I want to design species for various classic sports, such as soccer, golf and tennis.

The Royal and Ancient Game comes first.

What build and characteristics should a species, humanoid or otherwise, have in order to be maximally suited for excelling at GOLF?

Take into account the following conditions:

  • The rules of golf should be followed. So the ball has to be hit by a club, either held by the creature or part of its body, one or multiple times, in order to fall into a hole.
  • The creature should be fully biological and not need any additional implants. Clothes and equipment should not exceed what a normal human golfer would have.
  • Combining the ability to play the game with the ability to carry all 14 clubs and so on would be good, but you can assume that the creature will have a caddy.
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  • $\begingroup$ GM as in "genetic modification" or am I misreading the abbreviation? $\endgroup$ – VLAZ Jul 26 '20 at 14:58
  • $\begingroup$ Yes, indeed. It stands for "Genetic Modification". $\endgroup$ – MedwedianPresident Jul 26 '20 at 15:56
  • $\begingroup$ Does it need to be one creature, or can it be a semi-conglomerate of creatures? $\endgroup$ – Trioxidane Jul 26 '20 at 17:16
  • $\begingroup$ Does the creature have to be able to survive without assistance? Or is it more like a biological piece of equipment that is only pulled out of the shed when necessary? $\endgroup$ – DKNguyen Jul 26 '20 at 18:25
  • $\begingroup$ Not necessarily at all times, but during the game without additional life support would be good. $\endgroup$ – MedwedianPresident Jul 26 '20 at 18:27
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Ready for the absurd?

Lets just take a human as a starting frame. The human has a special arm that can envelope the whole stick, with the exception of the club head. In this appendage are a ton of sensor nerves and some fly trap facet eyes here and there, that aid in not just feeling, but knowing how hard you swing and where you hit the ball. Aided by the normal eyes that have been upgraded to better than an eagle vision and superior distance sensing, it isn't a guess anymore where the ball will land. It is now a choice. Let us also make the arm 4 times as massive in muscles so it can reach the hole at any distance.

But wait!, I hear you say. What about wind?. All has been thought of, as the ridiculousness has barely begun. Our creature has many tall sensory appendages growing on them. A group of 3 close to each other for each, able to sense the wind and the direction. The creature will be able to know where the wind comes instantly and adjust. But that's only close to the body! Right you are, but these aren't normal appendages. They can be unhooked from the main body and it's blood vessels, with a temporary self contained system blood and air system and assisting organs for nutrients and filtration to keep it alive. It also rocks an up to 50m nerve cable. Place several of them around the course and you'll know how the wind goes at any given time. Even the wind can't ruin your stroke. Won't the nerves die? No of course not. Sacks with similar temporarily self contained blood and nutrient systems line the nerves. Afterwards the sensors and nerve cables are reattached, blood filtration is conpleted and nutrients put back. Ready for the next hole.

Your over achiever has been made. I wonder what car he would drive off in after his winning stroke.

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  • Increasing the distance between the waist and shoulders and increasing the muscle strength and response speed would lengthen the golfer's drive.
  • A larger cerebellum with better muscle nerve control would allow for greater accuracy in long shots.
  • Improved eyesight might help the golfer by allowing them to see small particles carried by the wind, granting them absolute knowledge of the current wind conditions. Barring that, improvements to the inner ear would at least allow them to sense air pressure shifts which accompany changing wind patterns.
  • Improved vision and inner ear function might also help the golfer "read the green".
  • The rest of the changes would be purely aesthetic: Long legs, beautiful facial features, sleek articulated muscle tone. After all, the approval of the audience/gallery is almost as important as how well you play. Golf is, at least partially, a spectator sport.
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  • $\begingroup$ Look at photos of a hummingbird brain to see how much of it is dedicated to vision and flight control which lets it compensate for the wind and sway with the branches while hovering in a tree, as well as dart around as eratically as they do with perfect control. It looks like the brain equivalent of a genetically modified freak that is all bicep...but even more exaggerated. $\endgroup$ – DKNguyen Jul 26 '20 at 18:36

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