So, the world is operated by daemons. Daemons are divine entities that govern various aspects of the world. Think of stuff like river gods, tasked with maintaining the water supply and filtering out contaminants of their river.
Gods had a mutually beneficial agreement with mortals: If mortals worshipped them, they'd ensure that there wouldn't be too much drought or extreme weather that'd put the mortals' lives and livelihood in risk. To do so, the gods used the worship energy of the mortals.
There are many of these lesser gods, so worshipping all of them is problematic. Now, this problem was remedied with a recursive hierarchy. Simply put, each major aspect (rivers, forests, mountains, etc..) had their own prime gods, equal in power, who were worshipped instead of the lesser gods. The worship-energy would be passed down to and up from the lesser gods, allowing for a neat distribution of resources, each according to their own needs.
Later, some aspects would create a whole new class of prime who controlled much broader domains and even adapted more unbalanced personalities. For instance, Zeus controlled a large part of the aerospace and was the definition of adultery in his lifestyle, Poseidon's was a large chunk of the ocean and dry land, etc...
It was a flawed system, but the lesser gods accepted it and moved on. Then everything changed when the jews attacked...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I JUST GOT DEMONETIZED!?
Then everything changed when God's Army attacked. Basically, they were a horde of barbarians who worshipped the God Jehova. Jehova was a whole new kind of Prime (again) who simply put, wanted to have the credit for everything. "Fine!", sighed the lesser gods, "It's not like we've been in the spotlight for a while..."
Then they read Isaiah 44:6:
“This is what the Lord says—
Israel’s King and Redeemer, the Lord Almighty:
I am the first and I am the last;
apart from me there is no God.
The noodle dragons and sexy fertility gods, who both worked tirelessly to maintain the balance were declared demons and their worship was punishable by death.
They were having none of it, but lesser gods couldn't organize as well as God's Army, so they were losing territory rapidly.
This is where our story deviates from the standard formula. Most gods by that point had accepted their subjugation when the heroes they needed arrived:
Coming from beyond the divine, three moderators stood in the path of Jehova's tyranny:
- Kaioh, The Lord of Annihilation
- Mephistopheles, The Lord of Cheese
- Steve, The Lord of Speed-building and Creativity
They were outside of the divine power structure, and their names reflected the role they played in troubleshooting. Together, they've stopped God's Army, both in the mortal front, were Kaioh and Steve defeated Judge Samson, King David, and most of the prophets and in the divine front, where Mephistopheles used his power to hack God's powers and turn it against him.
So, what's the problem? You see, Jehova's Endgame was to obtain every domain and bring an unshakable order and peace to his new empire with little consideration for others' opinions.
To cement how he won't end up like every other tyrant, Jehova wanted to establish himself as:
- Unknowable ("God works in mysterious ways")
These three cornerstones were destroyed during his battle with the mods:
- Mephisto hacked his power, disproving his omnipotence and unknowability.
- Kaioh and Steve defeated God's Army, thwarting their plans and disproving Jehova's omniscience and omnipotence.
The problem is that I wanted to preserve The Bible's general plot, but that has now become impossible without a good excuse.
Sure, Jehova is still powerful and his cult is one of the largest, but it's very apparent that he can be defeated. Furthermore, now that Jehova can't rely on the "It'll make sense in due time" excuse, His followers can't explain many of his self-contradictory actions. Now, nobody wants to rewrite the entire Bible, so Jehova needs a catch-all excuse for his self-contradiction that can be applied to a wide variety of them. Sure, the Flood (that never happened) can be excused as symbolic, but others... not so much.
Our ultimate test will be justifying the weirdest story in the Bible.
What should God's excuse be?