17
$\begingroup$

Landia, a land based civilisation, has recently established diplomatic relations with Aquatica, a civilisation of fish people. The two peoples exchange gifts to each other - including from Landia, a stash of bottles of the finest vintage of Landian wine.

A grand reception is to be thrown in the capital city of Aquatica, including many of the influential people of Aquatica and representatives of Landia (in suitable breathing apparatus). Naturally, for this grand party, it would be a most auspicious gesture to serve the wine that was gifted earlier...

But how would this work? How, in an underwater party, can we serve wine in a way both Aquaticans and Landians can enjoy? Without, hopefully, making a mess...

Improve this question
$\endgroup$
9
  • 5
    $\begingroup$ They don't, normally. It's a special occasion and they want to figure out how. (Assume it's not poisonous to their physiology) $\endgroup$
    – Fhnuzoag
    Feb 28, 2020 at 19:19
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @Halfthawed Who says they have to drink it? Even among humans, this isn't the only method of consumption. $\endgroup$
    – John O
    Feb 28, 2020 at 19:20
  • 3
    $\begingroup$ @JohnO I don't mind IV'ing coffee, but doing that to wine seems a bit ... excessive. $\endgroup$
    – Halfthawed
    Feb 28, 2020 at 19:25
  • 11
    $\begingroup$ Designing drinking vessels for farcical aquatic ceremonies? This is why I come to this site! $\endgroup$
    – Joe Bloggs
    Feb 28, 2020 at 19:28
  • 11
    $\begingroup$ @JoeBloggs: I'm just goin' to the party to meet strange women, watery tarts, and moistened bints. :-) $\endgroup$
    – Bob Jarvis - Слава Україні
    Feb 29, 2020 at 4:26

9 Answers 9

Reset to default
27
$\begingroup$

Edible water bottles!

Scientists have invented spherical water bottles made out of agar (which comes from the sea) that can be bit into and swallowed (you can find them here) and learn how to make them here. Just fill them up with wine and the Aquatian people can bite into them and enjoy the wine. Although @L.Dutch - Reinstate Monica mentioned Yōkan cubes and fat-based solutions, both would ruin the true flavor of the wine (especially considering the fact that high-ranking Aquatian people have likely not tasted wine before). Besides, using a fat-based solution would result in some of the wine being spilled into the water (which would be hard to clean up). The only downside to this idea is the fact that the wine will have to be mixed with small amounts of calcium lactate for the casing to form (but that would still be better than eating wine-flavored Yōkan cubes).

enter image description here

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
20
$\begingroup$

Look at those who already to it for a living: sea mammals!

Being mammals they need to drink milk from their mother after being born, and they can't rely on artificial means.

Therefore their mothers produce a milk which is:

  • oily, so that it forms droplets into water, without being diluted
  • sprayed from the nipple, so that it can reach within the mouth of the baby

For whales:

In fact a 35% – 50% fat concentration is common among many species of whale as the higher fat percentage allows the whales milk to travel through the water without breaking up.

The thick milk is often referred to as having a toothpaste like consistency. This is very important because in order for the adult female whale to feed her baby she must either shoot the milk into her baby’s mouth through the water or allow the child to suckle the milk from her nipple.

If the fat consistency is too low than the mother’s milk would dissolve in the water making it difficult for the baby whale to feed and receive adequate nutrients.

Techniques of molecular cooking can be used to create a fat based solution embedding the wine.

The first thing that comes to my mind is something with a consistence akin to the Japanese yokan

yokan

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
2
  • 6
    $\begingroup$ Dutch if you draw some Wine Whale Tshirts I will buy 7. $\endgroup$
    – Willk
    Feb 28, 2020 at 23:21
  • 4
    $\begingroup$ +1 For a fascinating real-world solution, I had no idea that cetacean mammary glands worked like that. $\endgroup$
    – Zxyrra
    Feb 29, 2020 at 3:27
16
$\begingroup$

The usual enemy of the sea:

Plastic bottles!!

Specifically: plastic sports tops. The kind with the membrane in that you have to suck to get fluid from. I guess non-plastic variants (rubber or latex, perhaps) could be used. These tops, coupled with flexible pouches, would allow your land dwellers to drink wine just fine while also letting the aquaticans... I dunno. Breathe it??

Anyway. It’ll look like they’re all drinking fancy children’s drinks, but the wine won’t mingle with the water until it’s.. erm... done it’s job.

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
10
$\begingroup$

Fish can spend some time out of the water. It's very likely that those "fish people" can spend at least several seconds with their heads in the air without even getting uncomfortable. Just how regular humans can hold their breaths for a minute or two, but that's uncomfortable. However, holding your breath for around 10 seconds is not uncomfortable at all.

So have some air bubbles inside the palace, like in a diving bell. Palaces usually have domes, let's just fill one of them halfway with air. The fish people just stick their heads out into the air for the short moments they take a few sips out of a regular wine glass, then submerge again. The visiting humans can remove their helmets while swimming on the surface, so they can even clink their glasses and drink together.

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
2
  • 5
    $\begingroup$ This also allows for inversion - imagine that an Aquatica equivalent is a bottle of a gaseous "drink" - perhaps including flavoured smoke, alcoholic vapour, etc. - just like liquids are normally served in "right way up" glasses on land, so gases could be normally served in "upside down" glasses under water. In order to enjoy the Aquatica concoction, a Landia person would need to submerge at least their head underwater in order to "drink" the gas from the inverted glass. Bringing that glass out of water similarly ruin the experience just as much as submerging a glass of wine. $\endgroup$
    – Steve
    Mar 2, 2020 at 8:30
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ FWIW this solution would technically work, but I don't really like it because the point of the party is to encourage the two sides to mingle. Having these air domes would encourage the Landians to hang out in them separate to the Aquaticans, and possibly hog all the wine. $\endgroup$
    – Fhnuzoag
    Mar 2, 2020 at 12:34
7
$\begingroup$

Turn it to gel

It's relatively to turn any liquid into a gel-like solid using products like agar. Then you have neat little gel wine globes that you can serve at the party.

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
2
  • $\begingroup$ I suppose this could work, but there is a fair chance this might well and truly ruin the flavour. Not sure if they would take kindly to that. $\endgroup$
    – Plutian
    Feb 28, 2020 at 22:07
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @Plutian Can speak from experience that it works with both vodka and rum. Haven't tried with wine, but I don't know any reason it wouldn't work... $\endgroup$
    – Darrel Hoffman
    Mar 1, 2020 at 23:54
5
$\begingroup$

Use sparkling wine.

"Deco beer" is a common initiation ritual for dive instructors, as well as for technical divers. You open the bottle and let the carbonation pressure do the job.

Many debate the wisdom of imbibing on actual deco dives, but most of us have done it and the best of us have enjoyed it!

Here you can see a lesson where it's being done to demonstration quality: Underwater beer

enter image description here

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
4
$\begingroup$

Have Aquatica engineers design a special glass like this one :

enter image description here

When you are drinking from the straw, the gasket will move down with pressure differential, the check valve should keep (most of) the water off the glass. This will be a nice gadget for a reception.

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
3
$\begingroup$

TL/DR: Wine is the underwater equivalent of a weaponized gas. Or: Why would Aquaticans even want to poison themselves with this "wine" stuff?

As a peace loving Aquatican I cannot fully understand that gifting an arsenal of chemical weapons would be viewed as an act of friendship, not even by those war-mongering Landian idiots. But maybe they just don't know any better then to have lots of easily breakable containers of toxic liquid lying around?

But why would anyone ever open a bottle of this toxic stuff, in a large gathering no less, where it will be breathed in by everyone present? After our scientists had tested the contents in a controlled environment, we carefully lowered that stuff into the deepest chasm of the deepest trench we know, so that noone would suffer, should any of those containers ever be breached.

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
1
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Going to an Aquatican party is more like going to a cigar bar or hookah lounge - you don't go unless you're prepared to be literally enveloped by the intoxicants. It's not for everyone, but intentionally immersing oneself and others in a toxic environment is pretty popular here on land, and I don't see why that'd be particularly different in the ocean. $\endgroup$
    – Nuclear Hoagie
    Mar 2, 2020 at 15:38
1
$\begingroup$

My solution is that, for Landians, the breathing apparatus has a mechanism that would allow to consume liquid. It can have an opening that you can attach liquid containers. It seals tightly and allows liquid to pass through a tube (possibly that can elongate towards your mouth when you attach the liquid container). Or, there can be some sort of underwater camelback system attached to the breathing apparatus.

For Aquaticans, they can just have the underwater camelback option without the breathing apparatus.

enter image description here
This example has even 2 compartments. It can be useful for their water intake as well.

This scuba forum has a question about underwater hydration options and the answers mention the camelback. (Although, they mention that divers don't do it normally as they just drink on the boat): https://www.scubaboard.com/community/threads/underwater-hydration-options.213747/

However, for the longest saltwater dive-world record, they used a camelback system:

He survived on a liquid diet of Gatorade mixed with extra protein and vitamins that was stored in a Camelback-type system, and spent a majority of his time doing the best he could to adapt to his aqua home.

enter image description here

https://www.worldrecordacademy.com/stunts/longest_saltwater_dive-world_record_set_by_Robert_Silva_90400.htm

Note: I'm giving this answer as it seems like Landians really need to keep the breathing apparatus on. Most of the answers don't consider that Landians have a breathing apparatus and most likely they can't just take it off for consuming something because of the circumstances.

It is not practical and even dangerous, if you try to consume something by taking off your breathing apparatus and opening your mouth (even slightly) underwater. Landians might have or need a more complicated underwater breathing system than the real-word scuba systems as Landians might travel great lengths underwater and stay longer. Thus, they can't just easily take it on/off. They might even have/need a special suit for this occasion. Additionally, they might need the camelback system not just for the wine party but for their water intake as well (assuming Landians need water, and they will stay underwater longer times or they go underwater on other occasions as well). If it wasn't the case, air chambers would be the best option.

Improve this answer
$\endgroup$
0

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .