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Me

You might call me evil but the facts are I deserve to rule all of the world, everyone & everything in it.

What I already have done

For years I have worked in the shadows (as much as you can call owning one of the largest corporations in the world as "shadows") & now have a network of 1024 fully functioning satellites orbiting the earth. You people & your governments were actually silly enough to think they are merely communication satellites when I started launching those (well there have been a few who figured out the true use of them, but they have been silenced since).

The true use of the satellites is them being space nuclear launch facilities that are capable of wiping out humanity (or at least over 99.99% of it). Each satellite is equipped with the following:

  • 12 of the largest nukes humanity has ever seen (each equal in explosive power to the strongest nuke ever produced by a "government")
  • Cameras & radars of multiple wavelengths designed to detect any object launched from earth to space (assume that the network has no blind spots & covers every inch of earth)
  • Sensors capable of detecting the amount of pollution, temperature of earth, & other signs of global warming.
  • A directed optic laser based communication device between each satellite & the closest 5 other satellites. I'll go about this network in greater detail soon.

My plan

I intend on broadcasting to the world, letting them know about the satellites' true purpose & give them a list of my demands:

  1. They are not to launch anything to space; any launch of any object to space detected will trigger all the nukes' immediate launch.
  2. They are to stop any source of climate warming including any non 100% clean power production (see? I'm a generous ruler).
  3. They are all to bow down in front of me and make me the ruler of the world.

Obviously, I know that if they have any hope of stopping my extremely righteous plan they will use it, so this are the extra steps I've done to ensure that will be impossible:

  1. Every satellite sends a laser beam to the other 5 nearby satellites. The beam is encoded so it can't be spoofed from Earth. Should the encoding beam stop\send the wrong encoding for longer then a second all the satellites will launch their nukes & stop their own heartbeat laser beams thus triggering a cascading launch of all nukes from all satellites.
  2. The heartbeat beam acts as a sort of death man switch so should any satellite be destroyed again a cascading nuke launch will result in all other satellites.
  3. If any satellite detects the launch of anything from earth to space... you guessed it, cascading nuke launch.
  4. I have 100 dedicated henchman all over earth with a mobile device (a modified very strong laser pointer) that is capable of triggering a cascading nuke launch should any of them decide the world governments are not following my orders. This device is laser-based and can only trigger a launch, not stop it.
  5. There is no communication or control channels to the satellites, even I can't stop them.
  6. Should the satellites not detect a decrease in the amount of pollution pumped to the atmosphere following a preconfigured amount, you can probably guess what will happen.

Seeing as there are no humans in space in the time of launch capable of manually breaking into my satellites (I also have a kamikaze satellite going to take out the international space station), there is no network for anyone to hack into. Any new launch of anything from Earth to space will trigger the nukes from launching faster then it will take even the fastest of modern rockets to cover the distance between the atmosphere and my satellites, and the destruction of any satellite will trigger the nukes from all the other satellites in less then 2 seconds (yes I know it's risky and that random space debris might mean the death of billions of you but that's a risk I'm willing to take). I can't find a way for anyone to stop my plan.

The question

Am I right, given a modern tech level? Is there nothing that anyone can do to foil my plan? To be clear, I will consider any of the following to be my plan working as intended:

  1. Earth obeying my conditions.
  2. Humanity being (mostly) wiped out.

Is there anything I missed? anything anyone can do to stop me?

Edit

Because it's a repeating question assume all sensors will never fail... if I'm smart enough to launch this entire system to orbit without anyone knowing I'm smart enough to build a fail proof sensor (& movie logic is in place).

Edit some more

Because this are also repeating questions I'll answer them too... my henchman (well henchbeing... there are a couple of females and a intelligent hamster in the mix as well) are all 100% loyal and will never disobey me or work against me and will gladly thank me for the chance of dying to obey my orders... I made sure of that beyond any reasonable doubt by having them each surgically given a mind control chip, Also I'm in a super-duper ultra max secure nuclear fallout shelter that will take weeks for even the strongest armed forces to break into.

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    $\begingroup$ Question. Technology can fail. Not the same as a movie sensor. Evidently you don't want a situation where the world bows down, global warming declines, you are happy... then a faulty solder joint in satellite #407's power pcb causes its signal to drop or crackle, and the world (and you) go bang. What does your design have to say about that? Because that's the immediate weak point. $\endgroup$
    – Stilez
    Commented May 8, 2019 at 5:27
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    $\begingroup$ "They are to stop any source of climate warming including any non 100% clean power production (see? I'm a generous ruler)." People produce carbon dioxide by breathing. You've just sentenced the entire planet to death by asphyxiation. $\endgroup$
    – jpmc26
    Commented May 8, 2019 at 6:48
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    $\begingroup$ What qualifies as "launched to space"? Would a weather balloon launched to the stratosphere by a remote research base that have not seen your broadcast accidentally trigger it? (If so, I give the Earth about 8 hours from you activating the satellites to nuclear winter...) $\endgroup$ Commented May 8, 2019 at 8:16
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    $\begingroup$ Space debris floats around and destroys satellites more often than we'd like. You're almost guaranteed to nuke Earth with how strict this is. $\endgroup$
    – user10067
    Commented May 8, 2019 at 11:56
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    $\begingroup$ Seems like you gave every terrorist on the planet the ability to make their own demands. “Do as I demand or I will turn on my 1970 Cadillac and kill you all!!!” (And me, but I don’t think that far ahead) $\endgroup$
    – Ed Marty
    Commented May 8, 2019 at 12:59

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All the other answers say your plan fails. Lets us say it works. Everyone complies with minimal complaint. You even help disable the satellites.

The world is saved... But at what cost?

Look outside. People drive cars. People rely on cars to get to work and school. Most cars are based on fossil fuels, which are now banned. Everyone is still fine with this, because I said so, and phycology is complicated. Considering there is no time at all to create electric cars, and also you cannot make any electric cars because that also creates pollution, there are many people reliant on things that no longer exist. No jobs, no money.

Ahh, but our benevolent leader will give us perfect socialism! Everyone gives willingly to those in need... But how is food transported? There are only so many cyber trucks. Tractors and other farming equipment are not going to help. We also need lots of energy for our modern world. The only 'completely reliable' source is nuclear energy, and we can't (and shouldn't) send the waste to space.

So, Earth is doomed?

No, you just need to move slower. Move populations to less populated areas, and form tight self sufficient communities without electricity. Hopefully cities will decay into nature, then be used for farming. Release the domesticated cows into the wild, and herd some,(for food) cycling the fields they eat in. (This will be carbon negative.) For farming, cycle crops with legumes to avoid using damaging chemicals. Now that we have this set up, we can begin other plans. Make sure it doesn't happen again.

You have achieved Utopia.

It is not a city with concrete, or skies with flying cars. It has no spaceships, no virtual realities, and no Internet. Was there good stuff in the modern world? Yes. Is there still crime? Yes. Can we keep it like this forever? No.

All empires die, and all of humanity will die one day. It could be in a second or eons, but all is temporary. Your plan only succeeds under the criteria of humanity's death, and you didn't even cause it.

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