Im writing a fiction and i need some help. I need to create an eldritch abomination that would represent humanity as a collective. Think of it this way. Humanity is collectively killed and merged into a singular massive cosmic abomination ala evangelion instrumentality style just without giant naked girls and severely traumatized teenagers. Humanity at this stage is a techno-organic species, one of the apex in the galaxy's history. Now the firm ive made so far has to do with humanity in some way. The body: its humanoid in proportions due to it being a union of humanity. It has no skin, just transparent liquid diamond muscle with iron red striations, its cardiovascular system uses superheated liquid iron as blood. The bones are composed of a calcium silicate crystal that is shinny and white. Then it is covered in an obsidian bone plates that hide certain parts of the thing. At its center lies a red ruby core that pulses energy throughout the body. It has a large number of angelic wings composed of red solar plasma with blue tips on them. Very much like Magnus the Red's wings just made of solar flames. It has three burning eyes. It also has throught the body circuit like patterns due to humanity's techno organic nature. The colors. Red is a psychologically active color on humanity as such its the most abundant on us, likewise blue is our general fabourite as it is present in the tips of the wings. The firey and luminat nature of its wings come from the favt that humans are creatures of the light and being in absence of it for long perooss of time fucks with our minds. The wings symbolize humanity's long wish for flight. Its name when translated means the Crimson Daemon Star of a Thousand Wings. Thats it thats what i have so far. Can anyone make it more... eldritch?


closed as too broad by user535733, Andrey, Monty Wild Apr 2 at 19:39

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  • $\begingroup$ One thing of it though i forgot to mention. The story is mostly written in the eyes of the aliens. A human sees this thing and goes "That's so beautiful.... am... am i home? Im home....". An alien though sees this thing and can only express dishust, horror or revulsion. For us is a warm welcoming light that never judjes, never excludes you and always protect you. It is in essence... home. For aliens its an incandesent red light so pure in its form and sentience that its a perversion of all that it asociated with, it excludes you from all warmth and you only feel the unrivaled heat. $\endgroup$ – Alberto Lazo-Morejon Apr 2 at 18:57
  • $\begingroup$ And that while it was being born the galaxy nearly died. Think of a presence so great that acts like a spiritual star/black hole that crushes and burns every soul within a 70000 light year range from it. The reason this is adverted is because humanity realized what was happening and stopped it. They still got something out of it but the galaxy is now both horrified and traumatized over it and want nothing else but to wipe out humanity because of what happened. In the end humans do the procedure again minus the omnicide and not all of them merge. Also it has one hell of a voice of the legion. $\endgroup$ – Alberto Lazo-Morejon Apr 2 at 19:05
  • $\begingroup$ And when you look at it you only see the light. Geting closer you could make out a figure in all that fire but still by that time you'd be dead. Oh and when it was veing born humans were just slipping into a coma smiling while their life sighns slowly stopped. The poor aliens could only see this all encompasing light in their mind burning them while they heard its birth cry. Go find evangelion episode 12 and hear how the angel Adam's roar sounds like but imagine it in your head while everything around you is dying in a painful way from a burning light that you can't see with eyes but your soul $\endgroup$ – Alberto Lazo-Morejon Apr 2 at 19:11
  • $\begingroup$ Hi Alberto! Since you seem to be new, I recommend taking a look at the Tour worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/tour and Help Center worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/help. These will help you format your questions in ways that make it easier for the community to answer them. Sometimes people ask questions that other SE's specialize in. In your case, the root of your problem seems to be how to make an element of your story "more eldritch." That's really a question for SE Writing. I recommend this writing.stackexchange.com/questions/38369/… $\endgroup$ – KernelOfChaos Apr 2 at 19:49
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    $\begingroup$ Thanks I'll head there and try and make the question better. $\endgroup$ – Alberto Lazo-Morejon Apr 3 at 2:21

Have it be made of people. Like those images made of smaller images, from a distance it looks like what you are describing but get closer and its made of people.

When it talks every person in it talks with one voice, when it looks all of their eyes look in that direction. And when it stands still all of the people in it struggle like they are trying to escape or attempt to scream but nothing comes out. Since it is the union of humanity make that literal and painful looking.

  • $\begingroup$ I like your idea. I will add something like that. $\endgroup$ – Alberto Lazo-Morejon Apr 2 at 19:15

You've spent all your time on trivia.

OK, so it looks - well, it's pretty impressive, but it's not eldritch - "weird; sinister or ghostly".

For eldritch, you're better off sticking with the traditional: icky, maybe snakelike or octopoid or insectile. And whatever you do, get rid of the bright colors. No self-respecting eldritch creature is pretty.

Look - if you want eldritch, you want to scare the carp out of people, and not (primarily) by looking powerful. Think sinister. Think vicious. Think alien and uncaring.

And all that stuff about what it's made of? Superheated iron blood and diamond plates?

Forget it.

  • $\begingroup$ Okay so what could it be that could befit such a thing. It is humanity but at the same time beyond it. What would you suggest? My creativity is kind of running dry lately. $\endgroup$ – Alberto Lazo-Morejon Apr 2 at 18:28
  • $\begingroup$ If his monster isn't weird, ghostly and sinister than what is it? I disagree, I think it sounds rather ghostly, weird and sinister. IMHO, you hit the nail on the head already. $\endgroup$ – Rob Apr 2 at 18:38

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