In my world, dogs and cats are at war over a disputed territory between their kingdoms but they are at an impasse and have been for many years.

Somehow the dogs find out that cats are terrified of cucumbers. https://tenor.com/view/cat-scared-cat-vs-cucumber-gif-13209546 They want to use this fact to finally win the war by driving the cats out of the disputed lands.

There is no technology in this world apart from what can be achieved with mouths and paws, but cats and dogs are roughly as intelligent as terrestrial humans.


Assuming that dogs have access to extensive fields of wild cucumbers, how best can they use them to win the war?


closed as primarily opinion-based by Mołot, Cyn, Frostfyre, Gryphon, 011358 smell Feb 9 at 0:08

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    $\begingroup$ Information needed to avoid closure as too story-based: Size and location of cat encampments, patrols, disposition of forces, same for the dogs, map of contested region with complete geography, nature of cucumbers including time from vine before rotting, growth period, climate requirements, etc. etc. etc. And why on earth would a cat with human-esque intelligence be afraid of a cucumber? (and I'm one to usually take the OP at his/her word... but this one's a tough nut to swallow.) $\endgroup$ – JBH Feb 8 at 23:12
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    $\begingroup$ * Clarification. The cucumber is a gourd not a nut. $\endgroup$ – 011358 smell Feb 9 at 1:49
  • $\begingroup$ @JBH - A lot of humans have an irrational fear of spiders. Their intelligence plays no part. $\endgroup$ – chasly from UK Apr 26 at 17:23
  • $\begingroup$ I have an irrational fears of bees and heights - and my intellect allows me to stand among the bees unmoved and to scale great heights without error. Intellect always plays a part. Just because the fear is irrational does not mean someone will always react in an uncontrolled manner. That someone reacts in an uncontrolled way to an irrational fear strongly suggests an untrained intellect. It's one of the reasons human soldiers are trained the way they are - to overcome irrational fears (including that of death). Cat soldiers untrained to deal with their irrational fear of cucumbers? Bah. $\endgroup$ – JBH Apr 26 at 23:26
  • $\begingroup$ @JBH I don't think soldiers' fears are irrational. They may be killed or maimed at any moment when on active duty. A lot of very intelligent people are known to have phobias, here's a list of some of them listverse.com/2010/11/03/10-well-known-people-and-their-phobias - Interestingly many historical figures have feared cats! (see under Napoleon in the above list) $\endgroup$ – chasly from UK Apr 27 at 9:30

since it's mouths and paws only, you should just give every dog you sent to war a cucumber. Any cat that tries to stop them flees.

Then to maintain the territory and keep yourself safe you plant cucumbers. If they have some form of bags or carts they can use to drag a lot of cucumbers around allowing a small group of dogs to secure a larger portion. Then grow cucumbers there. Repeat till you are satisfied with the territory you've gained or wiped out the cats.

  • $\begingroup$ I don't think dogs are capable of making bags or carts. Building a rough shelter out of sticks is about their limit. $\endgroup$ – chasly from UK Feb 8 at 22:29
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    $\begingroup$ @chaslyfromUK were they to kill something and not damage some of it's guts severely they could use that as a bag. or drop something on a fallen branch and use that like a sled. $\endgroup$ – SlothsAndMe Feb 8 at 22:35
  • $\begingroup$ @Demigan - Thanks for your answer. I missed a vital piece of information from my question:-( It's too late for me to change it now. The reason they are fighting is that there are lots of small prey animals in the disputed area. These prey are herbivores and would eat any cucumbers they found. As you have given a good answer to my current question I'll accept it if no one comes up with a better one. $\endgroup$ – chasly from UK Feb 8 at 22:59
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    $\begingroup$ @chaslyfromUK You can and you should change your answer. My answer would still remain the same: You scare away the cats with the cucumbers, then lure any critters towards you with the cucumbers and eat any that try to eat your cucumbers. You can't protect all your cucumbers, but it will reduce the amount of dogs you need for any single area and provides your dogs with food! Since the cucumberplant is alive and well it also means there's not enough critters to eat everything. $\endgroup$ – Demigan Feb 8 at 23:03
  • $\begingroup$ @Demigan - I've accepted your answer anyway. Thanks. I actually left out several crucial facts so I plan to submit another more detailed question later. $\endgroup$ – chasly from UK Feb 9 at 18:36

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