As an ancient organism whom currently occupies a large chunk of a planet beneath the surface, I have a pesky issue with an invasive species. These humans have decided to colonize my home, mistaking it for an uninhabited Earth-like planet. There aren't that many of them (yet), but I have a big problem with an orbiting station they deployed that keeps an eye on most of the planet. I want to keep my presence hidden, at least for now, and their ability to see a good chunk of the planet with optical cameras makes it tough for me to operate openly.
After careful observation, I've learned there's a critical weakness in its design: there's a communications "blister" on the outside of the station that allows it to send back what it's seeing, and also allows it to communicate with the rest of the galaxy. I also know that this planet is very remote by their standards; it would take months for someone to make it here or to the next system. As an added bonus, they don't have the ability to fix it themselves, and as far as I can tell this station is fully automated and uninhabited.
My plan is to manipulate the geology of the planet to create a crude gun that can hit this weak spot with a dense rock, ideally making it look like a 'nautral phenomenon'. Let's also say I had millennia to anticipate the need to defend myself, making it just another curious part of the surface before they even got here.
So, I need to make a 'cannon' that:
- Looks like a natural geological formation
- 'Powered' only by what naturally occurs in the crust of a planet (ex. lava, geothermal pressure, etc.)
- Fires a projectile that can survive leaving the atmosphere
- Has enough accuracy to hit a target that's no more than a few meters across
- Ideally can launch my payload when nobody is looking (i.e. the station can't see me), allowing me to make it look like a stray asteroid
- Allows most of the planet to remain inhabitable
It's fine if it's loud; I can always make some rumbling happen in advance and get the colonists accustomed to it. However, I don't want the result to outright kill them or maim them; it would cause less panic if there are no casualties or injuries. I need a month or two to get rid of them properly, and the less they suspect, the better.