Recently, while at an extremely remote filming location for a movie I'm producing, I encountered a young man I'll call Sims who is a literal giant.

Sims is 22 years old, 9 feet tall, and he weights 800 pounds. Extraordinarily, he seems to be proportioned normally, his gigantism is not a result of a pituitary disorder, though he does have physiological adjustments that allow him to thrive at his size.

Despite being untrained, Sims is probably the strongest man alive, capable of deadlifting and squatting over 1000 pounds with ease. His 40 yard dash is 5 seconds, without ever training. He appears at least as durable as an ordinary man, being no more prone to broken bones, torn muscles or ligaments due to naturally stronger materials but he isn't invincible and can get injured.

Now I also have partial ownership in a certain NFL franchise, and I believe that Sims would make a fantastic player. I've broached the subject with him, shown him a few clips of our 2007 and 2011 teams, and Sims is very excited to play. He currently works with his family on their farm, and is tired of labouring all day in the sun.

My question is: What American football position should Sims play and why?

Furthermore, what sort of team and what type of players should I pick to best assist him? Also, how successful do you think he can make my team?

A few caveats: He's never played football before, and I want him ready by August for next season. He speaks no English. He can get extremely aggressive and violent when wrestling with the other villagers, having killed a few by accident, part of the reason he's eager to leave.

Finally, Sims younger brothers also seem to share his mutation. Within a decade I could have up to 7 Sims size players, how would I best incorporate them into my team? Is there another sport they might do better at?

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    $\begingroup$ Welcome to worldbuilding. I have the impression that, since you are asking several, related questions, your post is too broad. As such it might be put on hold until improved. Please take the tour and visit the help center to better understand the standards of or community $\endgroup$ – L.Dutch - Reinstate Monica Jan 30 at 4:20
  • $\begingroup$ Whats wrong with giving him the ball and sprinting to the end? If his that big, not many people would even be able to stop him, even if they started to pile on top of him. Also if you have an entire team, there would surely be rules created to stop such an unfair and possibly unnatural advantage. $\endgroup$ – Shadowzee Jan 30 at 4:38
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    $\begingroup$ Really? I don't know if you realized this, but this dude would destroy everyone he comes across, so just make him the quarterback and forget about making plays. Just have him walk. Also, if biology bothers you, I suggest you check around about posts regarding the science of it because Sims is definitely magical with his specs. $\endgroup$ – Lonha Jan 30 at 4:39
  • $\begingroup$ For his looks.. If you convert him to average male he is 1.75 m and 95 kg man. Not so average I would say. And heavy by NFL standards, but taken he is around 3.8 times that he can just charge them as if they were some middle school kids vs pro. $\endgroup$ – Artemijs Danilovs Jan 30 at 4:53
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    $\begingroup$ @Lonha +1. "Hey, Mongo. Take this ball to the guy wearing the striped shirt over there, and he'll give you a sandwich." $\endgroup$ – Mazura Jan 30 at 19:42

Sims is going to be the world's best tight end ever.

  • (-) Sims lacks the speed to be a wide receiver
  • (-) Quarterback is based mostly on skill, intelligence, and a specific action (throwing)... there's no guarantee that Sims is any good at it
  • (-) If he's an offensive lineman, he'll interfere with his own quarterback's ability to pass over him
  • (-) It's tempting to put him as running back, but his longer legs make him more vulnerable to good tackles. He'll be nearly immune to bad tackles, but if his ankles touch he'll go down
  • (+) He'll make an excellent short-yardage full back. But that position doesn't see much play, so we'll put him elsewhere most of the time
  • (+) Tight ends have to block in many plays. Sims will be very effective at this
  • (+) Height is very useful for a tight end - they do lots of quick passes where that extra 4 feet of reach will make it much, much harder to stop him from completing a pass
  • (?) it's better to have an imbalance in your favor on offense than defense, since the offense chooses where to play the ball
  • (-) aggression is good on defense, but Sims seems dangerously aggressive. We don't want him getting in legal trouble, and putting him on offense limits his opportunities to intentionally hurt people

Sims is going to need to learn three plays in order to take advantage of his amazing standing reach (12 feet) and stride (1.2 yards walking, 3.5 yards running.) I believe that Sims can be taught these plays within a month, even not knowing a common language. Don't worry about teaching him trick plays, just make sure he realizes that he won't always get the ball.

  • BLOCK = hit the two guys in front of you hard and push them back until you hear a whistle
  • TWO-STEP = take two steps forward, then turn and have hands high to catch the ball. If you get the ball, fall backwards (forward direction, but facing backwards.) If you don't get the ball, run to either side and be ready for a pass.
  • THREE-STEP POST = take two steps forward, turn a bit inside, then take a step at an angle and keep moving forward with hands high to catch the ball. If you get the ball, charge for the end zone.

Sims needs a mostly regular team, although his QB will have to be very patient to deal with the communications issues. Sims will also need an off-the-field handler, since you can't afford him to get into fights and you really don't want sexual assault allegations (true or false.) Over time, Sims will allow you to save money on offensive players, particularly the blocker or two right next to Sims.

Training should focus on catching the ball, holding onto the ball, and speed drills, since turnovers are Sims' biggest weakness and speed will be extra useful if he can develop it.

Sims will be an enormous advantage, making any team in the league a playoff contender by default. It doesn't guarantee victory, since a high-powered enemy offense might be able to keep up with the help of a few turnovers.

Once you get multiple Sims, you should put a few more on offense, but start going with defense. A full defensive line of Sims will be nearly impossible to block against, and they'll be the only defense in the league that regularly leads in sacks without ever blitzing.


He could potentially make a good tight end, if you can teach him to catch well. Fast enough to be a receiver, and his height gives him tremendous advantage vs. defenders. And he can clearly do some blocking when needed. If you look at the players who typically play that position, they often fit that mold - taller and bigger than wide receivers. For example, Jason Witten or Rob Gronkowski.

He might, though, have more of an advantage in basketball.


The previous answers provide the best conventional wisdom for what to do with a very large individual given current NFL offensive and defensive schemes. I don't know if that conventional wisdom scales all the way up to this individual's size, though.

At this size and strength, especially since you specify proper proportions, it is doubtful that Sims can be tackled by any single individual player of "normal" NFL size. The foot speed you list would be slow for a running back, but a running back who can't be tackled by less than three men doesn't need to be fast. If I had such a player, I'd at least try him at running back; hand him the ball and dare the other team to tackle him.


Special teams when it comes to short yardage.

If the ball is on the one yard line, have him play running back and just bulldoze his way through. Hell, he could just reach over the defensive line and break the plane, above their heads. The mere threat of him would force the defense to pile on all their guys to try and stop him, which would tend to leave the receivers open for easy passing plays.

On the defensive side, get him somewhere near the middle and that jump over the scrum to get into the endzone play? Not going to work if it's near him. And if his reflexes aren't bad, you're talking about one hell of a kick blocker.


His 40 yard dash is 5 seconds

Offensive lineman or defensive tackle. Conceivably quarterback. From Wikipedia:

Quarterback         4.93
Defensive tackle    5.06
Center              5.30
Offensive tackle    5.32
Offensive guard     5.36 

Of those five, offensive guard is generally considered the least skilled and quarterback the most. In order, perhaps guard, defensive tackle, offensive tackle, center, and quarterback. In general, the left side of the offensive line is more skilled than the right side, as they usually protect the blind side of a right handed quarterback. So I would focus on right guard or defensive tackle. He may also play fullback in short yardage situations (like Refrigerator Perry).

Height is most useful to quarterbacks, wide receivers, and tight ends. It allows quarterbacks to see over other players and allows receivers (including tight ends) to reach over defenders. He's too slow to play tight end or wide receiver.

It's going to take time to train someone in the family to play quarterback and it may simply be impossible. There have been any number of athletically gifted players who never managed to play quarterback at NFL standards.

My thoughts are that this might be more of a gimmick than a winning strategy. Good NFL players tend to have eight years of experience in high school and college ball. I'm not sure that he can go straight from the farm to the field and perform at a high level.

His best chance might be at defensive tackle. He won't be blocking his team's quarterback's view playing on defense. The job of a defensive tackle is relatively straightforward. Add a top middle linebacker behind him to compensate for his mistakes. But the rest of the family can't play defensive tackle. There are only two on the field at a time in a 4-3 defense. A nickel package might have three. A 3-4 only has one.

The Sims family's height might make them more dominant at basketball. But that too has skill requirements that they might not be able to meet, particularly with their limited experience.

Sheer size is most valuable in sumo wrestling. It's also useful in WWE wrestling. The scripted nature of professional wrestling allows for much less skill than free form sports.

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    $\begingroup$ I would like to point out that Sims is 9 feet tall while a regulation hoop is 10 feet. As long as he stands by the hoop, he needs to only be skilled at simple catch because no person is tall enough to block him from catching a teammate's pass and do the first non-jumping dunk in history. He would be better at basketball than american football because you can't attack him. $\endgroup$ – Lonha Jan 30 at 4:49
  • $\begingroup$ @Lonha Basketball has too many rules that will prevent Sims from making the pros, even assuming he can control his aggression and not receive penalties for injuring his opponents. He can only stand in the paint for 3 seconds, so if his teammates are prevented from passing to him during that time, he'll get penalized (His arms are not six feet long, so he can't just stand outside the paint). He can't easily play defense by standing in front of the basket, because he'll probably get penalized for goaltending. While some of Sims' children may have a chance of making the NBA, Sims isn't ready. $\endgroup$ – Chelsea Jan 31 at 20:02

Wikipedia actually has an article listing height in sports and what roles each sport get advantages from above average and below average heights.

Gridiron Football (aka American Football, to differentiate between Association Football (Soccer) and Australian Rules Football (insanity, aka Calvinball?).

The Article lists Wide Recievers, Lineman (Defensive or Offensive), and Tight Ends as the positions most advantaged by height. Quarterbacks, Defensive Backs, and especially running backs (where 6'0" and up is rare) are best given to shorter players. The Wikipedia article gives the reasons why.

Because the NBA was mentioned, I will point out that the NBA actually has an honesty in size problem. Here the average height is 6'7" and it's not uncommon to lie about heights, and not for the reasons you might think. Charles Barkley was officially listed as 6'6", but is more likely measured at 6'4"-6'5 1/2" and even if he was 6'6", he was still considered short for his position (Power Forward). Conversely, Kevin Durant's official NBA height is 6'9" even though he's really closer to 7'0". This is because his listed size is closer to his best position (Small Forward) where as above that people will only call you a Power Forward (Yeah, the same role Barkley played). And reporters are very careful to report the listed heights as opposed to actual height as players are very territorial about that number.... it can cost them a good position if misreported in either direction. So you may have a 9'0" giant, but he's really 9'6" because it sells better... shush!


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