In my world, Santa Claus is not a squid who employs quantum tunneling, as implied by some questions here. He is neither a hyperdimensional being or superhuman. Instead, he is the head of a major secret organization which employs millions of elves organized in paramilitary structures who covertly deliver presents during an additional day of the year that is placed between December 24th and 25th, quickly travelling in advanced ships similar to the TR-3B military aircraft. The general population is anesthesized and subjected to a memory wipe to keep the secrecy. Technologies derived from crashed Grey and Reptilian spacecraft are used.

Santa’s base is a secret, medium-sized island located at the geographic north pole. Of course, there are underground storage halls and automated factories all around the world, producing and storing the presents during the year.

The world governments have signed a pact with Santa, cooperating to keep everything secret. A significant amount of the US Black Budget is drawn to the Christmas operation, for example.

The above implications will be discussed in other questions. The question here is:

How can “rogue governments” (such as North Korea or Iran), but also major world powers be prevented from performing full disclosure to cause international panic and/or disrupt the operation or force the technologies used to be released to the public? How can the effects of accidental or deliberate disclosure of any extent be neutralized, keeping the existence of Santa Claus a secret?

  • 1
    $\begingroup$ That quantum-tunneling squid answer was one of the best on WB.SE. $\endgroup$ – JBH Nov 4 '18 at 0:52
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ And while I have your attention, please consider our meta post about high concept questions. $\endgroup$ – JBH Nov 4 '18 at 0:53
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ It's a sham. Major League Baseball, the real iron-fisted ruler of Earth, has had no need for paramilitary elves since the American League's 1977 expansion to Toronto and Seattle. $\endgroup$ – user535733 Nov 4 '18 at 2:04
  • $\begingroup$ Why would you need to? It's simply more evidence that they're nuts. $\endgroup$ – nzaman Nov 4 '18 at 12:08
  • $\begingroup$ @user535733 Baseball? really?Forget about baseball, basketball or hockey. Football or as you Americans call it soccer is the one true ruler, the One true home for the corrupt and powerful. $\endgroup$ – Shadowzee Nov 5 '18 at 6:07

There isn't a nation on Earth that could resist in any credible manner a force capable of (a) rending the entire planet comatose for up to twenty-four hours, (b) delivering 23,148 packages per second into dwellings, rooms and building, and (c) has a global reach. Not any of the major super powers would dare act against it.

Simply imagine this: what if those packages were explosives or other deadly munitions? For example, if instead of presents bombs were being delivered and planted inside buildings of all kinds at a rate of 23,148 per second. No bombing raid in history comes even remotely close. Most so since these bombs would be placed inside buildings.

This may come as a complete surprise to many, but governments of nations around the world are composed of reasonably smart people. The sort of people who would be quick to realize that every nation on the planet is at the complete and absolute mercy of Santa Claus and his minions. To break the Santa pact would risk total annihilation of your nation.

What price the assured safety and continuation of your nation, whether it be a major super power or so-called rogue nation, just keep Santa a secret.

In conclusion, nothing needs to be done to prevent rogue nation violating the Santa Pact. Against such implacable and absolute power all nations will be self-policing when it comes to maintaining and keeping the Santa pact. Rogue nations are extremely interested in maintaining their own power and the non-violation of the Santa pact will ensure that.

  • $\begingroup$ +1 The logic about packages-per-second (pps) is off though: A single Santa would having to sustain a 23,148 pps rate would imply an ability to do 23,148 pps in one location, but that doesn't mean a global organization can put that much pps onto a single area, because an organization can distribute the work: for example they could instead have 1,388,880 present-delivery-groups and each of them would only have to operate at the leisurely rate of one (1) package per minute in any given area. $\endgroup$ – mtraceur Dec 29 '18 at 0:33

Imagine any of those governments telling the truth about Christmas, publicly, in our real world. Just try to imagine.

Of course some people would believe it. Those are the same people that believe that the Earth is either a disc, a hubcap, or a hollow sphere, depending on the time of the day. They also believe that the Illuminati are plotting to bring the planet into a new world order by vaccinating children through genetically-modified food.

In other words, no one who is sane would take it seriously.

  • $\begingroup$ But conversely, in our world, we don't have unexplained presents magically appearing ever year, like in the question's premise. Intuitions about how we'd react can't apply directly because we have to translate from the reference frame of "there are no magical presents that need an explanation" to "there are magical presents and we don't have a good explanation for them". $\endgroup$ – mtraceur Dec 29 '18 at 0:43

Simple: These rogue nations have no need to do anything differently than they have been doing.

Santa only goes to the homes of those who not only celebrate Christmas, but have also managed to get a letter sent to the North Pole for the yearly Christmas Registry.

In rogue nations, there's no need to do a true "cover-up" because if a household writes a letter to Santa, the secret police will round them up and imprison them such is the case for North Korea. In the case of Iran, the concept of Christmas being celebrated is still so new that the details of how the holiday works (such as the letter-writing) are still largely unknown that people don't do it. If anyone tried, it'd be easy for the Iranian government to filter out the letters from the international mail supply.

Santa won't go down every chimney because he has no idea if there are children in that household and he has no way of knowing if those kids were naughty or nice since he hasn't had an opportunity to do research on them. If he were to enter a house uninvited, it would then open up sanctions against his company alongside a warrant for his arrest for trespassing, so he is very careful not to cross any boundaries lest the other kids of the world miss out because of his mistakes.

As for how major world powers could be prevented from full disclosure, the trick is to treat Santa just as they do the aliens. Only a select few from each government knows the truth of Santa's existence and those who aren't informed are kept in the dark and fed time-tested lies to make sure that they don't learn the truth. Once a person goes into political office, they are required to fill out a legally-binding contract where once they leave office, they cannot share with the world what they have learned as a matter of international security.

Nations like the United States of America were required to sign into practice laws such as section 1021 of the National Defense Authorization Act for the 2012 Fiscal Year which allows the indefinite detention of anyone who is suspected of terrorist acts without trial or a lawyer. While citing the war on terror as the reason for the need of these bills, in truth, it's to keep the secret secure without needing to do a large-scale organized cover-up. After all, if the world already thinks they know the truth, are you covering it up by keeping those who wish to disturb the world order from acting haphazardly with their knowledge? No, it's not a cover-up at all; it's peace-keeping!

As for preventing Santa's tech from being leaked publicly or being used by the governments, Santa's company is unofficially recognized by the UN as one of the 196 nations of the world, but Santa's Workshop doesn't send a representative as he prefers to keep out of world affairs. In turn, the UN doesn't formally state their recognition for the aforementioned points of international security. As a result, Santa's workshop cannot be conquered without UN provisions demanding other nations to go in and protect that country which will be treated as a Canadian town for the sake of paperwork. As for why Canada doesn't take the opportunity to invade: it'd be hard to convince the Canadian military to "invade" their own territory. They'd question the orders if not outright refused due to the sheer lunacy of the matter. If the government claimed that the town was a terrorist sleeper-cell colony to convince the military to act, then Santa would be forced to turn his technology against the Canadians. Since Canada's military consists of Mounties wielding pitchers of maple syrup, the Canadian government realizes it's better not to antagonize Santa in case they need to rely on his technology to protect the Canadian people.

In the end, Santa is a tactical genius who placed his company in America's hat where nobody would invade to take his cutting edge technology. If somebody tried, it'd be treated as an attack on Canada and Canada's allies would defend it, alongside the full force the UN could gather. This means America would send troops to fight in defense of the workshop as well. For the countries that wish to keep Santa from visiting their people, they just stop their nations out-bound mail from going to the North Pole. This way if Santa visits any households in their borders, they can try him as a criminal, so Santa steers clear since he wasn't given an explicit invitation by any of those homes. In turn his company sends extra gifts to the families of those with clearance who are holding political office in each nation as a way of thanking them for not interfering with his company. One of those gifts was giving the internet to the world leaders before the public got it in order to facilitate communication and peace between nations and their families.


Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.