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My name is drax blofeld, and I am one of the most intelligent and wisest human beings born on this earth. In my infinite wisdom, I have determined that humanity has become too decadent and corrupt, and must be exterminated. I will repopulate the earth with people who I determine to be worthy, and all others do not deserve to live.

Using my cast resources, I have built a giant space station in space and have recruited the best and brightest to become citizens in this new world. We then developed a poison that is able to kill large numbers of people, but leave the beauty of the world intact. The poison takes the form of 70 canisters that were released into the atmosphere, each capable of killing 100 million people. With 7 billion people dead, the world is ready to be re-populated by my citizens. My heroic sacrifice has saved our species, but there is one thing we neglected to take into account:

What to do with all the corpses?

Billions of people decomposing all at once will certainly have harmful effects on the environment, as well as the health of my people. What is the best way to get rid of these bodies without harming my citizens? What other environmental problems would i need to take into consideration?

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marked as duplicate by RonJohn, Ryan_L, JBH, Tim B II, ohwilleke Sep 4 '18 at 0:52

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Forest for the trees, my dear Drax. Forest for the trees. Surely you stockpiled enough food and oxygen to keep your space station in operation for the year or two it'll take for nature to take its course with those corpses. Sure seven billion sounds like a lot, but compared to everything else that normally dies and rots on a regular basis in the earth's biosphere, it's not really a significant impact. Give it a year, 18 months maybe, and then pick a city with a nice view and repopulate. By that point it'll just be a bunch of skeletons easily managed by a minion with a mop.

You... you did save some minions too, right?

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    $\begingroup$ +1 for the image of Blofeld, having forgotten to save any minions, having to mop everything up himself. It's always something with these evil schemes! $\endgroup$ – Cadence Sep 3 '18 at 22:11
  • $\begingroup$ @Cadence Right? Draxx's whole plan came apart because of poor Minion Management. It's a critical part of the Evil Success Pyramid. To learn more, please peruse my selection of seminars priced at an easily affordable.... ONE MILLION DOLLARS MWAHAHAHAHAHA. $\endgroup$ – Morris The Cat Sep 3 '18 at 22:15
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I've got bad news.

No, the corpses will go their merry way in due time, just wait a couple years at the most and you'll just have to dispose of about one billion mummies in job lots, the rest having been disposed of by Nature.

The problem is that a small, but sufficient part of those corpses were controlling factories, chemical plants, oil wells, nuclear power stations, marine oil extraction rigs. Still more were attending to farm animals and crops which required at least a modicum of manpower.

Several installations were supplied with soft-failure devices and most of them worked, if not all. But most installations weren't, and a lack of emergency services and fire brigades did the rest.

The Earth is mostly still inhabitable, but it will require significant work before it's comfortable again.

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  • $\begingroup$ I'm not sure how much of a problem this would really be though... keep in mind our Evil Overlord only has maybe twenty or thirty thousand people to resettle, so it's not like a few local toxic waste events or nuclear reactor meltdowns is really that much of a concern. You just find somewhere nice and remote like maybe New Zealand or Iowa. You could easily spend a couple hundred years rebuilding the population before you'd have to think about repopulating anywhere... dirty... $\endgroup$ – Morris The Cat Sep 3 '18 at 22:10

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