Building on this question: Settings formed by Uncontrolled Terraforming of Venus and Mars via Portals

My government, the Great Council of Duhurang1 has authorized the Minister of Astronomic Science2 to open a Canal of Heaven3 between the Bosom of Hope4 and the Absorbant Darkness5 and demand an accounting of the stability of the Canal.

Question: If I open a wormhole near the surface of one world to the surface of a world closer to the same sun, and given the conditions below, would there be problems I would need to deal with (e.g., unwanted kinetic energy, etc.) with using the wormhole?

  • Assume the wormhole can be opened such that both sides stay in place relative to the surface of their respective planets.

  • Assume the wormhole length will adjust to accomodate the changing distance between the two planets.

  • For the sake of argument, assue that when the two planets are on opposite sides of the sun, that doesn't collapse the wormhole. It probably would, but let's say it doesn't.

The best answer will be the one with the most well supported reasoning for any problems while making me laugh the hardest. This site is about fiction, after all, and to compensate for a request for facts, I'm going to invite comedy. If forced to choose between the most factual answer and the the funniest answer, I'll be forced to pick factual — but only because I'm more afraid of Karma than I am the poster of the funniest answer.

1Fall to your knees and worship!

2Menoarg... he's up for promotion and nobody likes him.

3A wormhole... pompous bounders... and Menoarg's pelt smells like a T'hufah regurgitated on it.

4Our homeworld, sheesh... They act like they shed pure sunlight... and I don't like Menoarg either.

5That's the next planet closer to our sun. It's a bit warm, but habitable.


1 Answer 1


I answered some questions about wormholes in the past. I am gong to reuse parts of a specific answer here.

I suppose that you wish to use a 2 meters wide wormhole as stated in the question you linked to. So I will paraphrase myself from my linked answer:

Everything dies.

In fact, everything dies in a manner much more spectacular than if you had crashed the moon against Earth. Or Venus. Or even Saturn.

Wormholes have mass. The whole explanation of why they have mass, and what kind of mass, and the physics behind this are in the post I linked to.

A one meter wide wormhole will have a mass close to Jupiter's, which, if we disregard the sun, is about three times the mass of everything else in the solar system combined. A two meters wide wormhole will be more massive. I don't know if that scales linearly, exponentially or logarithmically, but at this point, it does not matter much... Both planets involved will implode in a very cinematographic way the moment the wormhole mouths are set, and they will be compressed into a very thin ring at the middle of the wormhole's throat.

Depending on which kind of wormhole you have, the time it will take for the ring to settle (from each particle's point of view) will be something between a fraction of a second to a few hundred days.

The wormhole mouths will continue orbiting the star. They will keep grabbing the stray asteroid, comet or space probe here and there.

Last but not least, should the architect responsible for the wormhole project survive, he/she may be awarded a double prize after pushing the activation button:

  • An ignobel on transit engineering for bringing two planets closer together by turning the expression "it's a small world after all" into a literal truth;
  • A Darwin Award for becoming the last survivor of his/her species.

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