1
$\begingroup$

Dear StackExchange residents,

My Name is Calvin M. Loue and I am a College Professor at Jinjel Majors School for the talented.

I have been allotted a great deal of stem cells for research purposes because my highly regarded papers on human limb grafting.

Just one thing, my IQ is exactly 89, I have no natural intelligence. So you may ask how I got such a position of prestige with such low intelligence, well the voices in my head tells me the secrets of life and keep me in this position.

I just got one problem, when I accepted the deal to gain this knowledge I said I would do them a favor in exchange. Now they are asking to return the favor, they told me to make them bodies so that they can return to their former glory, the glory of the Nephilim.

If I refuse, their borrowed intelligence will leave me, leaving me with the intellect of a average human. So I come here to ask and guide me what is the best cult or supernatural guide which I can study to accomplish this task?

Sincerely;

Calvin M. Loue

$\endgroup$

closed as primarily opinion-based by Aify, John, Andon, L.Dutch, RonJohn May 8 '18 at 6:24

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    $\begingroup$ voodoo......... $\endgroup$ – Kilisi May 7 '18 at 23:15
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ is this school an asylum and how do you managed to get internet access? oh erm... this is a reply from god, now god wants you to look for a nurse and ask for some sweets ok. God out. $\endgroup$ – user6760 May 8 '18 at 1:33
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @user6760 I can assure you sure I live in no asylum and I am completely mentally stable, I won't go back, ever. $\endgroup$ – Amoeba May 8 '18 at 1:38
  • $\begingroup$ "human limb graphing." <<< do you mean "grafting"??? $\endgroup$ – SRM May 8 '18 at 2:10
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ You don't seem to looking for a cult or guide, but more of a suitable grimoire or book of magic. For example, Johan Cheeseberger's Introduction to Nephlim Resurrection is usually recommended. :) Unless you want a necromancer as mentor. $\endgroup$ – a4android May 8 '18 at 4:31
7
$\begingroup$

The first thing that you need to realise is that the Nephilim get a pretty bad rap in the bible and popularist mythology. Generally speaking, most people on the planet either;

1) Don't believe they exist, or
2) Don't want them back

But, hope is not lost. Ever heard of the Annunaki? I hadn't either until I let my kids have freer reign with their viewing habits and they turned on a show called Ancient Aliens. Needless to say I've corrected that mistake but while the Annunaki really have little to do with aliens or nephilim in the manner in which they were originally worshiped, in modern times there has been an increase in a popularist belief among certain... well I was going to say spiritualist movements but even that in this instance is a misnomer; let's just say 'quarters'... in the idea that the Annunaki were really aliens that 'uplifted' us to mine gold for them.

This started with a book called The Twelfth Planet by author Zecharia Sitchin. Perhaps he has some followers? Convince them that it's the Annunaki who want to return to give us the blessings of some updated knowledge (your current situation is testament to that and you can even leverage some additional ideas from your patrons to prove the point), have the Sitchinites build the bodies for you, then your Nephilim can inhabit them instead of the Annunaki. Sure, there are going to be some divergent personalities and behaviours from expectation, but then the Sitchinites should have been careful what they asked for, shouldn't they?

Bottom line is that Kilisi is correct in stating that this is an impossibility and (let's face it) if it was possible, the Nephilim wouldn't need you to do it for them. So, either this is a test of your loyalty (the above has to be a pass mark at least) or they really don't know how to do it and think your fear could be sufficient motivator to find a way, in which case you are effectively outsourcing the risk to the Sitchinites.

So; I say try the bait and switch and see what happens. Either way, you've fulfilled your bargain.

$\endgroup$
  • 5
    $\begingroup$ Sir you have saved me and I can never repay you, so I wont, but thank you anyways $\endgroup$ – Amoeba May 8 '18 at 0:07
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @Amoeba You could repay him with 10 imaginary Internet points. $\endgroup$ – DonielF May 8 '18 at 4:30
2
$\begingroup$

Logically they know your limitations and would only ask for this if they already had at least the glimmer of a plan how to do it. Because in real life it's impossible as far as we know although any number of cults would be happy to take all your money while they say they can do it.

So your best option is to ask them how, and then go along with it while enjoying your status.

If forced to come up with something yourself, consult a voodoo practitioner, they will keep you occupied for many years.

$\endgroup$
2
$\begingroup$

Since the Nephilim are the offspring of Angelic beings called "Watchers" and human women, you are going to run into some real difficulty given half the DNA isn't available to recreate these "heroes that were of old, warriors of renown".

However, if they have the knowledge, then all you really need to do is spark up the handy DNA Polymerase reactor and have the spirits tell you exactly what genetic building blocks are needed, and in what order they must be assembled. Building DNA from scratch is already an industrial process, and scientists have been slapped down for playing around with things like DNA from Swine flu and Avian Flu (a successful recombinant DNA experiment combining Swine flu and Avian Flu could potentially create a rouge virus far more lethal than the Spanish Flu of 1918).

Stupid science tricks like that are luckily fairly easy to spot and shut down (for now), but since your declared research is far more benign and you have a supply of stem cells (ethically harvested from your own abdomen, I hope) playing around with the DNA should raise fewer questions.

I'm not entirely clear if any modern day cults have any expertise with advanced recombinant DNA, and indeed given your position in the research lab and access to advanced knowledge via the spirits, I don't even think you really need any access to cults.

We are eager to know when you plan to start this experiment here on Stack exchange so we can properly, er, prepare for the coming events........

$\endgroup$
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ yeah "ethically" harvested from my "abdomen", uhh thanks for the help sir, you can expect the experiments to begin as soon as I can collect the cadavers to do the job, the local prison grave yard should be a good place to find them, what could go wrong with reanimating convicted criminals... $\endgroup$ – Amoeba May 8 '18 at 1:10
  • $\begingroup$ Cadavers don't help any, live stem cells exist in everyone's living bodies, and can be fairly easily collected from a human abdomen. Blood and marrow are also sources for human stem cells: leukemiabmtprogram.org/patients_and_family/treatment/… $\endgroup$ – Thucydides May 9 '18 at 1:41

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.