In honor of the 2 year 4 month aniversary of Tim B's infamous How would Facebook Sysadmins prevent the summoning of Cthulhu?...
ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA, UNITED STATES, December 17, 2019
The Wikipedia Foundation1 today announced a groundbreaking partnership with The Bitcoin Foundation to become the first global distributor of information to accept donations in Bitcoins. The petition to accept Bitcoins begain with Wikipedia Contributor and Bitcoins founder Satoshi Nakamoto whose desire to continue the expansion of Wikipedia while protecting the anonymity of donors went without question.
To facilitate the new donation system, The Bitcoin Foundation worked closely with the Wikipedia Foundation to incorporate a protocol layer within the open source Bitcoin software to insure the privacy of donors and guaranteeing that even the transaction processing itself is so widely distributed that no government, intelligence agency, or corporation can identify the donor in any way.2
The Wikipedia Foundation is celebrating this partnership by inviting its cadre of millions of contributors to participate in a contest to develop the most compelling donation pitch.
This monumental undertaking, the first global mainstream acceptance of Bitcoin in history, is set to begin operation in one week, at midnight on December 25, 2019.
The consequence is that Wikipedia now has a piece of its own programming running on each of the untold millions of ASIC mining hardware assemblies and, more importantly, video GPUs on the planet — and with it, the ability to incorporate subliminal imagery onto the screens of nearly every Bitcoin miner planetwide.
And their first task is to brainwash more people to devote their GPUs to Bitcoin mining for the purpose of donating to Wikipedia. Today Bitcoins, tomorrow world domination. Not surprisingly, some smart aleck in the marketing department dubbed this the sexy sixty-six initiative.
Question: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to advise the World Council on the most efficient method of avoiding what some are calling the most viable zombie apocalypse ever considered by living man.
Edit: Specifically, Wikipedia and Bitcoin are conspiring to use the GPUs already in use mining bitcoins to modify imagery displayed on user monitors to include visual subliminal messages that convince people to convince other people to use their GPUs for the same purpose. And so on, until they have taken over the world and turned everyone into their personal flying monkeys. How can we stop that in a week's time?
The code on the GPUs is the principal problem as all that is concurrently used as an actual graphic card will influence anyone sitting before the connected monitor.
The World Council is convinced that you have but one week for your implementation to work. After that, too many people will be brainwashed to stop the critical mass of world-wide devotion to their new masters.
GPU racks and ASIC miners cannot be ignored as they harbor the code.
Your solution cannot be interpretable as an act of war. For example, you could (theoretically) steal everyone's hardware, but you can't nuke cities. Nothing you do can be considered an act of aggression toward the citizens of any country.
You do have access to government resources world-wide, so long as you don't violate condition #4.
1 "Wikipedia" and "Bitcoin" are the trademarks of their respective foundations and the parody of this question is in no way intended to suggest any actual collusion or conspiracy between the two for the purpose of invoking a zombie apoclypse resulting in world domination by converting everyone into mindless Wikipedia donators and contributors who only use Bitcoins to pay for their goods and services to the detriment of their families, friends, and national sovereignty, despite viral Internet acceptance assuring the veracity of the claim, could possibly be true. I'd never tread on trademark rights in that way and assure you that I am not connected with any government that might desire to take control of either Wikipedia or Bitcoin {_insert photo of honest-looking face here_}.
2 I realize that Bitcoin is naturally designed to do this and no additional coding would be required, but I needed a narrative way to express the distributed nature of the Wikipedia interface and it's a Hollywood tradition to have the narrator overexplain something in a barely related way to ensure the audience gets the necessary point.