So I robbed fort kn... I mean had a misunderstanding with some pretty powerful people by no fault of my own.

I can teleport to places I can see or have seen (like in the movie jumper, btw I love google maps).

I need a secret place to where nobody will ever find me while I'm sleeping (just then, when I'm awake I'll jump around on earth) and thought about looking at some photos of the moon to build a secret hideout. I can totally teleport there with anything in hands and a space suit on, but I can't take anything I can't lift, so no heavy machinery.

Where do I build a sleeping place and how and how do I hide it?

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    $\begingroup$ Based on the facts given in your question I assume you mean the moon as in right now, today, not futuristic tech or moon bases. In that case, why the #$$! would you want to go there? There's NOTHING there! Even the stuff the astronauts left behind would be useless to you now. Stay on earth and find someplace remote. Jump from place to place until you fine someplace you like. At least you can LIVE on Earth. Aside from that, good luck! :) $\endgroup$
    – Len
    Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 18:53
  • $\begingroup$ @Len Whilst I agree there are much better places to hide it seems the OP has chosen the moon as their hideout already. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 19:24
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    $\begingroup$ I'm just saying that hiding on the moon seems like a great idea... in theory! But in practice its got to be awful. Its a barren rock devoid of anything that supports life. Even if you're only going to sleep there why would you want to sleep on a cold rock in an astronaut suit exposing yourself to god knows what? Whereas a nice warm cozy little deserted island somewhere in the pacific sounds like heaven. For all intents just as hidden. Think about it. $\endgroup$
    – Len
    Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 19:52
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    $\begingroup$ @DonQuiKong, ah the old GPS tracker trope. Well, that would only work once, and once you saw them you'd "jump" out of there. You'd know you'd been found through GPS tracker because hadn't told anyone where you were hiding. From then on out you'd be a little paranoid and check yourself for a tracker every time. I still say staying on Earth and on the move is your best bet. Why try to basically "colonize/terraform" a spot on the hazardous moon when you already have perfectly livable and remote hiding spots here on Earth? There's PLENTY story to tell on Earth. $\endgroup$
    – Len
    Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 21:49
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    $\begingroup$ I'm with @Len, you're forcing your story. There are distant islands, high mountains, deep forests, arctic wastes, all kinds of places on earth that, despite GPS tracking, would require many hours if not days to get to you. The moon is so impractical that your story is unbelievable. You need to think like your character and not like the author. Frankly, what can your character "see" via any service that would let him jump there? Those are some pretty weak rules (almost godlike). Characters need weaknesses to build tension. Always needing to be one step ahead is a good one. $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 22:02

7 Answers 7


Go ahead, build a sleeping place on the moon, anywhere you want. Just don't do it alone.

Go find asylum with competitors, I'm sure they would be willing to support you building a legitimate moon base with all the resources you'll ever need. After all, you would be a much cheaper transport than having to launch heavy rockets just to deliver small payloads in modules. If they ever need anything huge transported, they'll do it themselves. But you on the other hand can deliver tools, suits, fuel, drones, anything they could ever need. You would be their most powerful trump card in staying ahead of their competitor.

I mean its not like you robbed fort knox to have the the fortune of an entire nation behind you to do it yourself...

But this is assuming that your enemies don't also have the same ability you do.


Unless there was a very thorough, incredibly detailed real-time scan of the whole Earth, the ability to teleport will foil any surveillance even without leaving the planet. You can hop between mountain and mountain, and be on the other side of the continent in a few minutes at most. Knowing that you're there will take much longer than a good night's sleep.

For safety, you want to build a Faraday cage somewhere unobtrusive (you just need to get enough copper mesh, or you can shape the gold b- er, anything you might have come by since that misunderstanding in the shape of an igloo inside a cave somewhere.

This is because if I were out to get you, I'd stake every likely point of reappearance with automatic needle guns loaded with a paralytic agent. Knowing that you'd have the time to jump away after getting stung, I'd equip the darts with a GPS or a squawker in order to locate you before the drug wears off. You, on the other hand, want to have the time to have it wear off before being located.

Which neatly brings us to a strategic question. Would anyone after you prefer you dead than loose? Because in that case, the paralytic agent would also be a poison, so that if you were located in time you might be injected with an antidote (as well as a little something to hopefully keep you around - teleporting must be precise stuff, so probably even enough whiskey would do), but if you weren't located soon, well, you'd stop being a problem anyway.



Let me give you some foundation for my comment, it might help you better frame your needs and perhaps develop a better question.

I once had a lovely daydream. I could open gates to almost anywhere. And not just open them, my psychic abilities even gave me the ability to reach out to other worlds in the solar system and "sense" them, such that I could find useful gate points, and they gave me the ability to move the gates (this is important in a moment).

But I realized very quickly in my daydream that the second — the second! — anybody else discovered by abilities, I'd be blamed for every unsolved crime on the planet. From Aunt Dora losing her keys to little Lenny Jr.'s lost cat to D.B. Cooper and Jimmy Hoffa. I'd have every police, security, intelligence, and military agency on the planet after me — and more likely to disect me than to actually charge me with any crime.

"OK," I said to myself, "Time to get off this rotten rock." So, using my ability to sense locations, I found a suitable underground spot on Mars and used my ability to create gates to "scoop" out the base. I then opened a gate to let in air and tied it off. The Earth-side was located in my parent's garage (with a big ol' honkin' garage for their RV, which wasn't home 'cause they were using it), and a local Home Depot. I know how to drive box trucks, so loading up a truck with tons of materials is no problem. Driving it thourgh my gate to Mars is no problem. Building a hideout worthy of Batman takes a bit of time, but I'm patient and modest, and I settle for only 5,000-6,000 sqft.

Wealth, of course, isn't a problem because I can gate gold out of the asteroid belt, and while I'm only getting pennies on the dollar, the smelter I'm working with is happy to not ask where I'm getting it. So, no crimes committed (other than, perhaps, not reporting where I'm getting a natural resource. The government thinks of everything!).

So I build my base, figure out a half-dozen very remote spots on Earth to which I can open and tie off gates for air, and live happily ever after never being bothered by my obviously ignorant and bullying co-terrans who simply don't "get" me (because I'm complicated, dontchaknow).

Why did I end the daydream?

It became boring

I had indulged in a bit of childish superman daydreaming, but in the end, my ex-publisher self reminded me that such stories are not published because I'm not atually telling a realistic story about human weakness, redemption, growth, or crisis (despite having begun to do so... that bit about everyone wanting my heinie because it's easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility for failing to solve a case), but it degraded quickly.


You're in the same boat. You're trying to force your story to go somewhere without allowing your character to interact with the story. Saying, "I want a story about a jumper who can get to the moon" is little different than the folks who said, "we need a movie about disco and roller skates right now!"

The result was the movie Xanadu.

Don't get me wrong, Olivia Newton-John makes me melt and her big production number was so good it almost made me not regret having seen the movie.


May I recommend that you stop forcing your story? Start with your character. He just stole from Ft. Knox. Why is a good question, but now that the whole world is after him, what's he going to do? Remember that you, the author, know a great deal more about what's going on than your character ever will.

How would your character solve the problem? Can't build a base on the moon without resources, can't get the resources without being chased like a rabid dog. You'd think he had a plan (unless the character is a 13 year old. 13 year olds think they have plans, they really don't), but if not, then cause-and-effect takes over. Your boy is about to be chased. How does he discover that? Where does he go?

And as wonderous and complex as Mother Earth is, take advantage of her. There are far more imaginative locations than the moon — and they'd allow the story to proceed.


  • $\begingroup$ On the other side, Superman sells really well :) And wouldn't the real story be about the person who gets onto the trail of the portal maker? ;) $\endgroup$
    – SK19
    Commented Mar 3, 2018 at 22:02

Going to the moon could actually make you easier to find, in fact your inflatable space camping tent would probably be visible from Elon's Space Tesla or something.

There are plenty of places on Earth where no-one will look:

enter image description here

Think about abandoned missile silos, caves, abandoned military bases, catacombs, etc.

However, that's way too glamour.

You would simply find an unoccupied appartment, and make sure the door can't be opened (a few sheets of plywood and screws should be enough). You don't need doors since you can teleport. And you can even have running water and electricity. Just make sure to move before they send you the bill.

An even more boring option would be to realize all you need is a warning system to make sure you can teleport out if someone comes in unexpected. You can then actually lead a pretty normal life.

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    $\begingroup$ You know what I like most about abandoned missle silos, caves, and other deep-inside-a-ton-of-rock places? GPS won't work.... $\endgroup$
    – JBH
    Commented Mar 3, 2018 at 0:48
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    $\begingroup$ LOL, yeah. Anyway, after teleporting GPS needs to sync which takes a while, and the GPS tracker also needs to be able to transmit and rat you out to TPTB, which realistically would use the cellphone network. It could use satellites, but look at the size of a satellite phone antenna. That's a bit noticeable. $\endgroup$
    – bobflux
    Commented Mar 3, 2018 at 0:50


Modern space suits' autonomy is too short for you. Take the Sokol, for example: they are intended to be used for no more than two hours in a vacuum. Two hours is not enough for a good sleep, and not enough time to build yourself a base.

Even if you did build a mini-base and had taken the time to store plenty of oxygen tanks there, it is too risky... Anything can happen that would either depressurize you, or make you blow up. I suggest reading Andy Weir's The Martian to see the hazards of having to live in a base in another planet. The movie does not do justice to the book.

At all times a lot of things will need monitoring and will randomly go wrong, and without colleagues in loco and a base on Earth to help you out, you will die in your sleep. For example, your suit rips, or your rebreather breaks, or your oxygen supply overheats... You should get the point by now.

Last but not least. If you still wanna try your luck, you might be tempted to set base on a polar crater such as Shackleton. That's because there is ice there, which never melts nor sublimates into space because of the low temperature of the crater's insides. The lowest points never get exposed to sunlight and never go over 100K. That ice could be a source of water (and thus oxygen, if you got the equipment to separate it), as well as being easier to dig than rock.

Don't settle there. When scientists want to study the ice in such craters, they send impactor probes. That would be a very anti-climatic death for the thief who built himself a home on the Moon.


Have you considered hitching a ride with Starman? The moon doesn't seem to have anything you want.

The Starman is very probably a much better spacesuit than you will be able to improvise. The car offers plenty of places to mount tinfoil or whatever you plan to built your hideout from; rock and dust are a hassle to work with. You can conclusively determine if a teapot was stowed anywhere aboard and change the answer.

You wouldn't have to worry as much about timing. The moon gets hot and cold by long turns, in space the amount of sunlight reaching you is pretty much constant; you don't have to store energy for a two week night. Balancing your energy budget is still important, but you always have both sunlight and shade available.

If your base is ever detected it will be dismissed as a known object. Any stray emissions will still be weird, but since it is know to have a transmitter not as weird as signals from somewhere nothing should be.

  • $\begingroup$ What's starman jones? $\endgroup$
    – DonQuiKong
    Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 21:59
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Sorry that was a silly mistake. Starman Jones is the title of a science fiction story I read the other year, Starman is the name given to the spacesuit riding in Elon Musk's Tesla. $\endgroup$
    – user25818
    Commented Mar 2, 2018 at 22:07
  • $\begingroup$ There are cameras streaming live in that thing, the thief would be discovered in two seconds. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 3, 2018 at 4:24
  • $\begingroup$ @Renan there are cameras but they only had power for a little bit. There are no live feeds anymore. $\endgroup$
    – user25818
    Commented Mar 3, 2018 at 14:51
  • $\begingroup$ Indeed. +1 then. $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 4, 2018 at 1:32

how good a shape are you in?

a 2500-5000 gallon plastic water tank could be buried(yes you will have to bury it and not just for radiation shielding) on the moon to provide a airtight chamber, -300-800lbs respectively.

you will need to double check it for a airtight seal on lid once buried, and you may need to reseal it with epoxy.

Then you need co2 scrubber, an oxygen tank, a regulator, and cot.

Keep in mind you will have no airpock to you will have to teleport inside.

also keep in mind the first time you go to sleep and your calculations on the regulator are wrong you will not be waking up.

enter image description here

  • $\begingroup$ Did you by chance read "The getaway special" by Jerry Oltion? They turn a septic tank into a makeshift spaceship by adding a jump-drive.... $\endgroup$
    – sdfgeoff
    Commented Mar 3, 2018 at 13:34

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