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I'm afraid that this might be off-topic, but here is my problem: As Christmas is coming, my son asks me lot of questions about Santa. I try to answer all his questions, but sometimes, I don't have any good answer. My son loves science, and I try to teach him critical thinking and skepticism, so I want a rational answer instead of "it's magic". I know this community is really good at creating out of the box answers, so I try my luck.

  1. How can Santa have enough time to deliver toys to everyone?
  2. How can Santa answer all the children? Does he know all the languages in the world?
  3. How will Santa leave presents if there is no chimney?
  4. How can Santa know where to deliver, if we are not at home, and instead at grandparents' house?
  5. How can he eat all stuff that we offer him? (I don't know if it's the same everywhere, but we offer some food to Santa during the night, and in the morning, the food has disappeared.)
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closed as too broad by Azuaron, L.Dutch, Draco18s, sphennings, Olga Dec 22 '17 at 18:14

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    $\begingroup$ "i try to teach him critical thinking and skepticism" and "I'm trying to find the best lies to tell my son about Santa Claus" aren't very compatible goals... $\endgroup$ – Azuaron Dec 22 '17 at 17:05
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    $\begingroup$ Tell him Santa is an alien with super advance technology. $\endgroup$ – A. C. A. C. Dec 22 '17 at 17:13
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    $\begingroup$ @kexedu If he is already asking those questions, there is no reason to keep lying to him. Just tell him to not spoil it for everyone because the holiday isn't really about Santa but all the traditions are just an excuse for people to celebrate something and to make life a little bit more interesting for everyone. $\endgroup$ – A. C. A. C. Dec 22 '17 at 17:57
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    $\begingroup$ @kexedu Telling your child "There is no Santa." emphatically does not spoil Christmas. We make sure that our children know the truth, that they always have, and their Christmas is not spoiled. $\endgroup$ – Loduwijk Dec 22 '17 at 18:21
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    $\begingroup$ The main problem I see with any of the Santa questions we inevitably get this time of year are that they are rarely actually about Worldbuilding. They're more like Q&A "games" that people want to play, which, IMO, don't really have a place here and detract from the usefulness of the SE. This one, while actually about Worldbuilding, the world being built is "the real world, but with lies so I can gaslight my son", and I really don't feel comfortable supporting gaslighting or that it's something SE should encourage. $\endgroup$ – Azuaron Dec 22 '17 at 20:54
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First, science will show it is impossible. You're looking for an explination which will satisfy the doubts.

Question: How can Santa have enough time to deliver toys to everyone?

Answer: First, let us adjust the scope. Santa only delivers toys to those children who celebrate Christmas. Many countries don't celebrate Christmas.See examples here. Second, Santa has a full 24 hours of darkness. Additionally, we know that time is not fixed. The passage of time is relative to speed and mass. Perhaps Santa's work takes weeks but is compressed from our frame of reference to one night.

Question: How can Santa answer all the children? Does he know all the languages in the world?

Answer: What most people don't realize is that Santa is a Hyperpolyglot. He has an uncanny ability to learn languages. There are documented cases of people speaking more than 50 languages. Since he so long lived, he has mastered many. For those he doesn't know, he has a cadre of Elvin translators to assist him. It is actually the Elves who construct the naughty and nice list for him, distilling the intelligence reports from all the Shelf-Elves and other informants (like the family pets and school administrators.) Once again, not every language group celebrates Christmas. While there are almost 7,000 languages, 94% of the world population speaks around 400 or fewer.

Question: How will Santa leave presents if there is no chimney?

Answer: Santa employes several techniques. First, he has a magic key. It operates like a skeleton key. He has also been known to use a window. Since the size of Santa seems to change (from tiny Elf in the night before Christmas to human-sized in every Department store), Santa may be able to alter his size to fit under doorjambs.

Question: How can Santa know where to deliver, if we are not at home, and instead at grandparents' house?

Answer: Because parents leave a note for Santa telling him where you are. It works like the postal services mail forwarding servcie.

Question: How can he eat all stuff that we offer him? (I don't know if it's the same everywhere, but we offer some food to Santa during the night, and in the morning, the food has disappeared.)

Answer: With time dilation, we don't know exactly how long it might take Santa to deliver all those presents. However, he does work very quickly and works up an appetite. Santa has been known to leave a cookie or two for dad or mom to eat if his belly was full at the time.

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  • $\begingroup$ Exactly how I would approach it. Magic being interpreted as misunderstood science helps foster curiosity. Skeleton key that works on any lock is a good one. $\endgroup$ – Stephan Dec 23 '17 at 2:58
  • $\begingroup$ Answer questions as they arise, informally, understanding that there will come a day when he'll realize the truth. My daughter figured it out by the wrapping paper. $\endgroup$ – Andrew Neely Dec 23 '17 at 3:03
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  • Earth rotates, and the night is quite long during winter, so he has more time than you think. Plus, Santa doesn't have to deliver presentations to ALL children: some are bad, so now present for them. In Spain, children have present during epiphany.
  • Christmas elves. They make some presents, but they also help Santa to write messages and translate them.
  • Windows. Simple as that, but it takes more time.
  • The same way he knows if you are good or bad. His work with NSA, so he knows everything.
  • He gives it to the reindeers, they need food with all exercise they do.
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