Relativistic Kinetic Kill Vehicles (RKKVs) are all but undetectable until it's far too late to do anything about them; they have a very low radiation profile once at cruising velocity, their exhaust plume is also, by definition, pointed away from the target while accelerating. They're almost impossible to intercept at cruising speed because once you can detect them they're not there any more; that close to c any signal lag kills your ability to track them. And they're, relatively, cheap compared to weapons that do less damage with more precision.
Several answers to this question suggest that warfare in settings where settlements are disparate and thinly connected stand a good chance of turning into an interstellar Rocket Tag scenario in which any time anyone fires a shot it destroys a star system wholesale. When I asked the question I didn't have a clear mental image of what that might look like; then this year I read The Killing Star
which opens with the almost total destruction of humanity over the course of a few hours by an interstellar civilisation using a system wide relativistic kinetic bombardment.
The parallels to another scenario in the universe of the above question made me think about the fact that anyone who knows their enemies have the capability to fire such weapons, and matches it, can still retaliate, possibly even after everyone is dead. They can leave RKKVs cold in space until the incoming munitions have committed to targets, or even until after they've hit, these undetectable arms can then take a bearing on possible source stars for the attack and hit back. Possibly they even simply target all neighbouring star systems in case someone got clever with the vectors.
To me, at first blush, this situation appears to be a clean cut case of MAD, and even a classic case in the political sense as well if everyone knows that everyone is armed. So, apart from an asymmetric case like that in The Killing Star wherein an actor fires on someone who is unable to launch their own relativistic munitions, can one win at interstellar Rocket Tag?
Edit for clarity
Universe specific information; High relativistic speeds (greater than 0.90c) are commonplace, near neighbours stay in sporadic contact trading in IP, read new tech designs and artworks, is common, physical goods are not. Transportation of colonists and labourers outward from overpopulated systems occurs regularly but tourism is virtually nonexistent. Polities encompassing whole solar systems are common and larger, but rather theoretical, leagues do exist kept together by digital diplomatic packets rather than physical embassies. Any ship moving between worlds can and does act as a spy, by deliberately investigating particular issues for a fee and/or just by selling their sensor records at new ports for those who want to catch up on the news from abroad.