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Commonmark migration
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Mel

##Mel## AsAs a software engineer, I can tell you that you don't need Mel. You need a good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut, a solid test environment, and another good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut....heck, give them a couple environments to test things in, you don't want to cheap out. Also, there's probably a simpler solution to your problem than "crazy code only one person ever can understand." Relying on "crazy code only one person can ever understand" is a failure point. I'd take my chance with the Kanye-teroid. Even with redundant engineers, I've saved you 23 people (and they were kids at that). You can even give each of the engineers a harem of 6 mates and still come out ahead by 11 people.

Dianna

##Dianna## IfIf for some reason being gay is against your code, find one of the other "few" people who can do what Dianna does and get them to the Ark. Otherwise, there's no issue. Let both Dianna and her new missus in the Ark. As mentioned above, super complicated air filters only a few people in the world understand is a failure point, and there's probably a better way.

Shifty Steve and Lil’ Marco

##Shifty Steve and Lil’ Marco## PromisePromise Lil' Marco a spot, and instead take him to a bunker and shoot him. Or, better yet, kidnap Steve and spend the next year harvesting his spunk and shoot him too.

##Rachael Straugnum–Alina and her boyfriend who she loves very dearly (he’s bae-goals)##

Rachael Straugnum–Alina and her boyfriend who she loves very dearly (he’s bae-goals)

##Lieutenant Brown##

Lieutenant Brown

##Secretary Thompson##

Secretary Thompson

##Mr. and Mrs. Norman##

Mr. and Mrs. Norman

##@LUClDITYxo##

@LUClDITYxo

##Mel## As a software engineer, I can tell you that you don't need Mel. You need a good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut, a solid test environment, and another good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut....heck, give them a couple environments to test things in, you don't want to cheap out. Also, there's probably a simpler solution to your problem than "crazy code only one person ever can understand." Relying on "crazy code only one person can ever understand" is a failure point. I'd take my chance with the Kanye-teroid. Even with redundant engineers, I've saved you 23 people (and they were kids at that). You can even give each of the engineers a harem of 6 mates and still come out ahead by 11 people.

##Dianna## If for some reason being gay is against your code, find one of the other "few" people who can do what Dianna does and get them to the Ark. Otherwise, there's no issue. Let both Dianna and her new missus in the Ark. As mentioned above, super complicated air filters only a few people in the world understand is a failure point, and there's probably a better way.

##Shifty Steve and Lil’ Marco## Promise Lil' Marco a spot, and instead take him to a bunker and shoot him. Or, better yet, kidnap Steve and spend the next year harvesting his spunk and shoot him too.

##Rachael Straugnum–Alina and her boyfriend who she loves very dearly (he’s bae-goals)##

##Lieutenant Brown##

##Secretary Thompson##

##Mr. and Mrs. Norman##

##@LUClDITYxo##

Mel

As a software engineer, I can tell you that you don't need Mel. You need a good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut, a solid test environment, and another good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut....heck, give them a couple environments to test things in, you don't want to cheap out. Also, there's probably a simpler solution to your problem than "crazy code only one person ever can understand." Relying on "crazy code only one person can ever understand" is a failure point. I'd take my chance with the Kanye-teroid. Even with redundant engineers, I've saved you 23 people (and they were kids at that). You can even give each of the engineers a harem of 6 mates and still come out ahead by 11 people.

Dianna

If for some reason being gay is against your code, find one of the other "few" people who can do what Dianna does and get them to the Ark. Otherwise, there's no issue. Let both Dianna and her new missus in the Ark. As mentioned above, super complicated air filters only a few people in the world understand is a failure point, and there's probably a better way.

Shifty Steve and Lil’ Marco

Promise Lil' Marco a spot, and instead take him to a bunker and shoot him. Or, better yet, kidnap Steve and spend the next year harvesting his spunk and shoot him too.

Rachael Straugnum–Alina and her boyfriend who she loves very dearly (he’s bae-goals)

Lieutenant Brown

Secretary Thompson

Mr. and Mrs. Norman

@LUClDITYxo

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Marshall Tigerus
Marshall Tigerus
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The vast majority of normal people would prefer survival to death, so getting the plebs in line is as simple as saying you are only taking X people. You will get 100*X people to show up, demanding they be saved (make sure you have a military ready to handle these people). You can be extremely picky, and write a policy for the general public (doesn't apply to your VIPs) for who gets in and not. And if anyone complains, the Kanye-Teroid will take care of them.

Now to your specific edge-cases:

##Mel## As a software engineer, I can tell you that you don't need Mel. You need a good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut, a solid test environment, and another good senior engineer who is unattached and not a religious nut....heck, give them a couple environments to test things in, you don't want to cheap out. Also, there's probably a simpler solution to your problem than "crazy code only one person ever can understand." Relying on "crazy code only one person can ever understand" is a failure point. I'd take my chance with the Kanye-teroid. Even with redundant engineers, I've saved you 23 people (and they were kids at that). You can even give each of the engineers a harem of 6 mates and still come out ahead by 11 people.

##Dianna## If for some reason being gay is against your code, find one of the other "few" people who can do what Dianna does and get them to the Ark. Otherwise, there's no issue. Let both Dianna and her new missus in the Ark. As mentioned above, super complicated air filters only a few people in the world understand is a failure point, and there's probably a better way.

##Shifty Steve and Lil’ Marco## Promise Lil' Marco a spot, and instead take him to a bunker and shoot him. Or, better yet, kidnap Steve and spend the next year harvesting his spunk and shoot him too.

##Rachael Straugnum–Alina and her boyfriend who she loves very dearly (he’s bae-goals)##

The good thing about crops is that they are really easy to reproduce. Also, as said above, miracle crop only one person understands and can grow ever is a failure point.

##Lieutenant Brown##

This guy can't be the only person capable of running the colony. If he is truly the only person that can do it (see failure points above), then hire a biker gang to kill his army buddy, have a big trial and ask Brown what he wants done to the bikers.

##Secretary Thompson##

If he's in charge, what does it matter?

##Mr. and Mrs. Norman##

What do you know, that biker gang killed two people instead of just that old army guy. Also, what is with this world that there are so many areas of science critical to this colony that only one person understands? I would think that there's only so much crazy that can go into a building.

##@LUClDITYxo##

Hell is living with only one comedian. Besides the GDP will drop a lot after the Kanye-teroid hits. Find some people with useful skills who are also funny.

Your Real Issue

Your colony, as described, has a lot of points of failure, and a lot of "hit by a bus" factor. If one of these people dies before they get into the colony, or a freak accident in the colony happens, then you are in a bad shape. Each of these points of failure should have 2-3 people capable of doing the job, and the ability to train more. What happens if Mel has an aneurysm? Shifty Steve gets AIDS from all the hookers and drugs? The twitter person isn't funny in more than 145 characters?