Timeline for Great Old Ones Limited, or Why does Cthulhu need a Company?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
35 events
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| Feb 12, 2018 at 13:27 | comment | added | zovits | @nzaman Or it wants to see your dedication to its cause and deems that rounding up and sacrificing 600 virgins is the point from which you are deemed crazy and powerful enough to be worth its time. But I admit that your point might be true as well, depending on the blood being an uncircumventible metaphysical necessity of the invocation and binding process of said GOO, or just a token of dedication. Sadly, my copy of the Necronomicon is not at hand so I can't check it right now and I guess if I tried to experimentally determine which one is true my boss would yell at me :( | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 13:10 | comment | added | nzaman | Suddenly the Holy Hand Grenade scene doesn't seem nearly as silly as it used to | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 12:37 | comment | added | nzaman | @zovits: You're missing my point. Either the GOO wants a specific volume of blood, which works out to around 600 virgins' worth, allowing for variations in size and weight, or it wants blood from 600 virgins. As in, "600 shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be 600. 601 shalt thou not count, nor either count thou 599, excepting that thou then proceed to 600. 602 is right out!" Lawyering with 10% of 6000 virgins' blood isn't any better than shortchanging the volume of blood, unless you know the specific requirements of your GOO. | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 11:37 | comment | added | zovits | @nzaman "Nobody said anything about all the blood" Are you sure the Great Old Ones won't disapprove of such lawyering approach? Mind you, they are the equivalents of the evil Djinn who will grab every opportunity to screw you over. I'd surely want to err on the side of caution and rather use more and better sacrifices than shortchange a GOO even by a drop of blood. | |
| Feb 11, 2018 at 19:52 | comment | added | mlk | Good answer, however a reason to cite Berthold Brecht: “What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?” Instead of robbing blood banks, why not skip the middle man and just found a chain of blood banks? | |
| Feb 11, 2018 at 15:56 | comment | added | Paul | @SamuelHarmer great point. Most blood donations also come with basic questionnaires on lifestyle, age, etc. So you could collect a ton of blood, donate most of it to an actual blood bank, and retain that which demographically fits your eldritch horror's requirements. And holy crap, what if the eldritch horror's symbol looked like a stylized cross of red.... | |
| Feb 11, 2018 at 9:42 | comment | added | Samuel Harmer | I have worked in companies where mobile blood donor vans come on site and take blood from willing employees. I don't know of anyone who ever thought to validate the credentials and origin of these vans. It would probably be much less complicated to create a company which actually does 'normal' work (so most employees don't know about the nefarious side of the company) and just 'encourage blood donation for the greater good'. Replace the van with a nurse in a clinical looking room and I doubt anyone would ever question its legitimacy. | |
| Feb 9, 2018 at 19:20 | comment | added | The Square-Cube Law | @TMN you don't have to be so subtle. Just call it what it really is ;) | |
| Feb 9, 2018 at 19:19 | history | edited | The Square-Cube Law | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 9, 2018 at 18:33 | comment | added | TMN | @Holger: "Natural fluctuation of the amount of virgin employees" -- Ah, I see someone's mentioning our summer internship and youth outreach programs! Our sponsorship of the community ballet and equestrian clubs is also a point of pride within The Company. | |
| Feb 6, 2018 at 23:56 | comment | added | neophlegm | I'm beginning to feel like this company might have shares in some kind of evil battery-farming corporation... | |
| S Feb 6, 2018 at 16:10 | history | edited | Logan R. Kearsley | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| S Feb 6, 2018 at 16:10 | history | suggested | Gryphon | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 6, 2018 at 15:48 | review | Suggested edits | |||
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| Feb 6, 2018 at 13:33 | comment | added | nzaman | @BobJarvis: The logistics of chicken eggs is very different from ostrich eggs, but both make omlettes | |
| Feb 6, 2018 at 0:02 | comment | added | Bob Jarvis - Слава Україні | @nzaman: you want omelets, you break eggs. | |
| Feb 6, 2018 at 0:00 | comment | added | Bob Jarvis - Слава Україні | @JoeBloggs - tactics wins battles. Logistics wins wars. :-) | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 16:04 | comment | added | bobflux | "For example, the summoning ritual may require the fresh blood of 600 healthy, young adult women." -- If N'grathothep does not specify from where the blood has to come from, this sounds like a feminist art project to me. With proper PR and spin you may even be able to get free media coverage... | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 15:18 | comment | added | The Square-Cube Law | @nzaman those numbers are just to give an idea of how some things are hard to get. You may need only 30 virgins, or you may need 1,000. Regardless of that, blood is not all you need. What if you also have to feed the beast once you summon it? Each need the elder ones have would take a corporation to satisfy. | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 14:45 | comment | added | nzaman | That gives you the blood of 6,000 virgins. Nobody said anything about all the blood | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 13:23 | comment | added | The Square-Cube Law | @nzaman you need the blood of 600 virgins. Each bag used in blood donations has in average 10% of the blood of the donor. 600 x 10 = 6,000. | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 13:19 | comment | added | nzaman |
A young adult woman will have around 4.5 to 5 liters of blood in her body. That fills 9 to 10 bags of donated blood. So you'll need about 6,000 bags of blood. Um... why?
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| Feb 5, 2018 at 13:19 | history | edited | nzaman | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 5, 2018 at 13:17 | history | edited | The Square-Cube Law | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 5, 2018 at 10:56 | comment | added | The Square-Cube Law | @xdaizu I love that comic :D | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 10:22 | comment | added | xDaizu |
if you openly state as the firm's mission and vision to summon a destroyer of worlds your business isn't going very far. [Citation needed]. I've seen political campaigns succeed with a message that was, in essence, exactly that...
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| Feb 5, 2018 at 9:46 | comment | added | Holger | You can get more blood out of the virgin girl, if you don’t extract it at once, but keep her alive to let her recover. Of course, this requires some logistics too. It’s simpler, when the girls are unaware employees of your companay who participate in the regular blood donation actions, the company is advertising “to a good cause”. Natural fluctuation of the amount of virgin employees are no problem if the company is big enough… | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 8:30 | comment | added | Dan Clarke | Something else to add. Company meetings, outings and events are a wonderful time to try out greetings and slogans for foreign countries. "Everyone we have a new office in (insert small virtually unknown country here), we may be getting a representative coming over so repeat their traditional greeting with me, "R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." And of course there are acronyms! "What does this company stand for? HASTUR! Helpful! Amazing! Satisfaction guaranteed! Terrific! Unique! and Ready for Action! HASTUR! HASTUR! HASTUR!" Basically a smaller scale version of Giter's idea. | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 7:26 | comment | added | Joe Bloggs | I honestly have never considered the logistics of summoning a Dread Thing from Beyond. Now I see my mistake. | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 4:25 | comment | added | Dan Clarke | The majority of the company would be a regular money making organization. However only higher level accountants, HR people, and managers deal with the special affairs division. And getting a promotion into special affairs, while ensuring a hefty pay raise, has a tendency of making the newly promoted worker being 'moved' out of town, or suffering a fatal problem well outside of work hours and totally unrelated to his or her job. | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 3:31 | comment | added | neophlegm | This is excellent, although it doesn't quite fulfill the idea that most of the company's employees don't know what the company does. If there was some way to have them unaware of the illicit nature of what they're doing that could make sense: I really like this as a groundwork though. Thanks! | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 3:30 | history | edited | The Square-Cube Law | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 5, 2018 at 1:45 | comment | added | Dan Clarke | That is an awesome answer. And to add to all of this, you need PR agents to glad hand and bribe politicians and bureaucrats to keep the police off your back. Accountants to ensure the IRS doesn't come around to ask why you have a 'black ops' fund. And you will need some kind of business to pay for all of this. | |
| Feb 5, 2018 at 1:06 | history | edited | The Square-Cube Law | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 5, 2018 at 0:55 | history | answered | The Square-Cube Law | CC BY-SA 3.0 |